Yes, I've been neglecting this blog for a while now. The reasons? First -- school. There just hasn't been time for much else outside of engineering related stuff. Second -- I think I fell into that natural tendency of mine to over-think what I was writing about and got to a point where I was hearing the criticisms of others before even writing anything. So, here's a nice, easy step back into entertaining all 3 of you who read these things....
Thanksgiving is fast approaching...my favorite holiday. Some folks prefer ham over turkey, which to me is simply outrageous. Even outside of a holiday meal - a full-sized turkey vs a full baked ham -- the turkey always wins in my book. And there's no such thing as too much turkey. It's meant to be consumed for a week after the actual holiday in sandwiches, reheated plates of leftovers, and even turkey-a-la-king. In fact, in this spirit of complete government control of all aspects of our lives and mandating every minute detail -- why don't they just make it a rule that sufficient turkey must be prepared such that all immediate family members and hangers-on can indulge in turkey eating until at least the end of the weekend? Turkey Czars? Why not! We have czars for everything else....
College football is nearing the end of its regular season and the NFL only has a couple more months. Meanwhile the dreadful NBA is already back in action. Just like John Mayer (though, admittedly not as awful and detrimental to society) the NBA should be abolished....or at least forced to only last for the few paltry months that the football season is limited to. This 9 months out of the year stuff is a crime against humanity!
Swine flue, swine flu, swine flu....did you get your shot? Not me. I got a regular flu shot as I've had them in recent years with no side effects. But I do not trust the hysteria or the rushed production of the swine flu vaccination. Rule of thumb -- never trust anything that has been politicized or overly hyped by the media. It's also a rule of thumb in chemical engineering to have the velocity of water through a pipe somewhere between 4 and 10 feet/second. (or is it 4 and 7......crap....)
I haven't been to the movies since August, so I have no reviews. in fact, other than a trip to Garden of the Gods with the family a few weeks ago and the school-trip to Nashville for our national conference, I haven't left the house at all on the weekends!
The Office....in the last few months it has become my official favorite show on tv. The wedding episode was fantastic, but all of the new episodes since (with the exception of this past week's) have been quite disappointing. And other Office fans that i know seem to feel the same way. Hopefully this most recent episode is a sign that they are getting their groove back. Dwight being Dwight, Jim playing pranks, Michael doing awkward and ridiculously stupid things...that's the magical formula that made the show so great. Michael at the shareholder's meeting was superb! "45 day plan....45 points....45 points in 45 days..."
Okay, I'm hitting the wall and there's much engineering stuff to be done today. If I don't write again before Thanksgiving - have a good one and send me your leftovers.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Awards, Hype, Corporations, and Interstellar Zoos
Because it was suggested, I'm going to try to squeeze out a short blog this morning.
So our supreme leader has been given the Nobel Peace Prize? This is another farce in this train-wreck of a presidency -- but considering some of the past winners (and the state of society in general), I probably shouldn't be surprised at all. From my understanding the nominations were due by February 1st....show he managed to perform such wondrous works of peace-making prior to that date.
I really don't think there are many people in this world today deserving of a Peace award. Certainly not any political leaders. In fact, I think politicians should be excluded from the award completely. Maybe if there are still some Mother Theresas out there -- give it to them.
I'm ready for the aliens to come and "wipe this place clean" (to quote Trent Reznor's Nine Inch Nails song "The Warning"), just as long as they accept my volunteering to be in the human exhibit of the Interstellar Zoo. And I humbly request either Kate Beckinsale or Adriana Lima to share my cage with.
Hey - did anybody else catch that stuff about school-kids being made to sing pro-obama songs recently? Obviously, you wouldn't have heard about it on in the mainstream media. It was pretty sickening stuff.
Lots of new music came out last month: Muse's "The Resistance" (amazing album -- and lyrically works as a soundtrack for those of us opposed to socialism and the movement to a one-world government), Pearl Jam's "Backspacer" (in case you missed it I was quite upset that they made an exclusive deal with Target and thus it was not available in a physical form here in our area where there are no Targets....in fact, let's get off track a little...Pearl Jam, being the liberals that they are, have always been very anti-corporation and about wanting the fans to hear their music without having to pay a lot of money. They always have done a good job of keeping concert ticket prices reasonable. But in this case, they completely and epically failed. Apparently all corporations are evil....except Target. But in so limiting the distribution of their album, people like me did not have access to it. True, it was available on ITunes, but some of us prefer having a tangible CD in our hands -- plus the CD has a higher sound quality. So, the band ended up limiting access to the music. Plus we all had to pay MORE than normal to get it. Best Buy is typically the cheapest place to get new CDs. Target is always more expensive. And if you do not have a Target within driving distance, you would have to either order from one online (thus incurring shipping costs) or from Pearl Jam's own website (at a higher price and again with shipping costs...it would cost about $20 actually). I would hope that after all this they would realize that not all corporations are evil and that most actually provide a service to people. By being gigantic distributors of products, these corporations make goods available to the masses at affordable prices. Does the corporate world itself suck? Yes, of course. Do I long to see mission statements, stuffy boardroom meetings, policies, procedures, HR departments, resumes, phoney handshakes, and the other rigid formalities of that world fall not just by the wayside but completely off the map and into the abyss? DEFINITELY YES PLEASE LORD MAKE IT SO!!!! But despite the detestability of the corporate world, I'm glad to have Wal-Marts and Best Buys around so I can buy the things I want/need and not have to spend more than I think I should have to.
Well, that was fun. Back to engineering stuff for me....
So our supreme leader has been given the Nobel Peace Prize? This is another farce in this train-wreck of a presidency -- but considering some of the past winners (and the state of society in general), I probably shouldn't be surprised at all. From my understanding the nominations were due by February 1st....show he managed to perform such wondrous works of peace-making prior to that date.
I really don't think there are many people in this world today deserving of a Peace award. Certainly not any political leaders. In fact, I think politicians should be excluded from the award completely. Maybe if there are still some Mother Theresas out there -- give it to them.
I'm ready for the aliens to come and "wipe this place clean" (to quote Trent Reznor's Nine Inch Nails song "The Warning"), just as long as they accept my volunteering to be in the human exhibit of the Interstellar Zoo. And I humbly request either Kate Beckinsale or Adriana Lima to share my cage with.
Hey - did anybody else catch that stuff about school-kids being made to sing pro-obama songs recently? Obviously, you wouldn't have heard about it on in the mainstream media. It was pretty sickening stuff.
Lots of new music came out last month: Muse's "The Resistance" (amazing album -- and lyrically works as a soundtrack for those of us opposed to socialism and the movement to a one-world government), Pearl Jam's "Backspacer" (in case you missed it I was quite upset that they made an exclusive deal with Target and thus it was not available in a physical form here in our area where there are no Targets....in fact, let's get off track a little...Pearl Jam, being the liberals that they are, have always been very anti-corporation and about wanting the fans to hear their music without having to pay a lot of money. They always have done a good job of keeping concert ticket prices reasonable. But in this case, they completely and epically failed. Apparently all corporations are evil....except Target. But in so limiting the distribution of their album, people like me did not have access to it. True, it was available on ITunes, but some of us prefer having a tangible CD in our hands -- plus the CD has a higher sound quality. So, the band ended up limiting access to the music. Plus we all had to pay MORE than normal to get it. Best Buy is typically the cheapest place to get new CDs. Target is always more expensive. And if you do not have a Target within driving distance, you would have to either order from one online (thus incurring shipping costs) or from Pearl Jam's own website (at a higher price and again with shipping costs...it would cost about $20 actually). I would hope that after all this they would realize that not all corporations are evil and that most actually provide a service to people. By being gigantic distributors of products, these corporations make goods available to the masses at affordable prices. Does the corporate world itself suck? Yes, of course. Do I long to see mission statements, stuffy boardroom meetings, policies, procedures, HR departments, resumes, phoney handshakes, and the other rigid formalities of that world fall not just by the wayside but completely off the map and into the abyss? DEFINITELY YES PLEASE LORD MAKE IT SO!!!! But despite the detestability of the corporate world, I'm glad to have Wal-Marts and Best Buys around so I can buy the things I want/need and not have to spend more than I think I should have to.
Well, that was fun. Back to engineering stuff for me....
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Musing Upon 19
Stephen King was right. It's all about 19. A decade ago I was 19 and while life was still a vast, seemingly limitless expanse before my third eye, I could already sense its precipitous and fleeting nature. An early hint of that feeling which sunk in somewhere in the mid-twenties - when life suddenly felt very short and swooping past at an alarming rate. As if one had just been shoved off a cliff and realized the surroundings were moving faster and faster and the ground loomed larger and closer.
19 is like noon. It becomes the reference point of our lives. In the morning we always look towards noon. In the afternoon we look back at it. It's the turning point. And 19 (or somewhere thereabouts) is when things start to shift. Those deviously intangible things that only make clear sense in our minds. Where if we attempted to describe it to another human being we would stumble awkwardly over the words and then give up and go watch football. At 19 you can look up at those lovely eastern clouds at sunset (the ones that soar like mountains, but are painted in glorious blues and purples with white peaks illuminated by the sun as it fondly waves goodbye for the night) and imagine seeing whatever dream those clouds inspire actually come true. But in later years, that confidence fades, the swirling pull of time floods those dreams with doubts and all we can do is imagine another reality where such dreams are possible.
19 is a time when everything is incredibly slow, though we do not realize at the time. The 19 reality is vivid and sharp, as if Life itself wants to impress upon you the importance of that era. Like how a ball thrown into the air pauses for a moment at its highest point. Timelessness.
On a September evening in my 29th year I went running beneath a magnificent sky which held a modest assortment of those soaring, mountainous clouds I so love. On my Iphone (a device my 19 year old self would have marveled at) I listened to a song I first heard almost exactly a decade before. It had the same feeling as back then, though perhaps with some added layers from the years. As often happens I felt as if I could literally still be 19 - as if I could run right through a hole in reality and find myself 10 years in the past and it would seem perfectly fitting. And it hit me that a decade from now I'll likely still feel the same way. As if I've only been on this planet a matter of hours and that there is no possible way I have experienced all those years. And that nauseous falling feeling will begin to claw at me. That this cannot be reality, life cannot be this short, I'm only 19! There's still an ocean of time and possibilities and opportunities and experiences and lives to live spread out before me!
But only the 19 year old sees that ocean. The later versions instead see the edge of the abyss, like those old paintings when people believed the earth was flat and that ships would just sail off into nothingness. Or instead maybe there's a massive wall of water that with each passing day or year looms closer and closer. The inevitable in all its glory.
And so the 29 year old renews his vows that he must fill his remaining years with meaning, with accomplishments, with moments that he wishes would drag out a little slower - like a ball at its highest point.
19 is like noon. It becomes the reference point of our lives. In the morning we always look towards noon. In the afternoon we look back at it. It's the turning point. And 19 (or somewhere thereabouts) is when things start to shift. Those deviously intangible things that only make clear sense in our minds. Where if we attempted to describe it to another human being we would stumble awkwardly over the words and then give up and go watch football. At 19 you can look up at those lovely eastern clouds at sunset (the ones that soar like mountains, but are painted in glorious blues and purples with white peaks illuminated by the sun as it fondly waves goodbye for the night) and imagine seeing whatever dream those clouds inspire actually come true. But in later years, that confidence fades, the swirling pull of time floods those dreams with doubts and all we can do is imagine another reality where such dreams are possible.
19 is a time when everything is incredibly slow, though we do not realize at the time. The 19 reality is vivid and sharp, as if Life itself wants to impress upon you the importance of that era. Like how a ball thrown into the air pauses for a moment at its highest point. Timelessness.
On a September evening in my 29th year I went running beneath a magnificent sky which held a modest assortment of those soaring, mountainous clouds I so love. On my Iphone (a device my 19 year old self would have marveled at) I listened to a song I first heard almost exactly a decade before. It had the same feeling as back then, though perhaps with some added layers from the years. As often happens I felt as if I could literally still be 19 - as if I could run right through a hole in reality and find myself 10 years in the past and it would seem perfectly fitting. And it hit me that a decade from now I'll likely still feel the same way. As if I've only been on this planet a matter of hours and that there is no possible way I have experienced all those years. And that nauseous falling feeling will begin to claw at me. That this cannot be reality, life cannot be this short, I'm only 19! There's still an ocean of time and possibilities and opportunities and experiences and lives to live spread out before me!
But only the 19 year old sees that ocean. The later versions instead see the edge of the abyss, like those old paintings when people believed the earth was flat and that ships would just sail off into nothingness. Or instead maybe there's a massive wall of water that with each passing day or year looms closer and closer. The inevitable in all its glory.
And so the 29 year old renews his vows that he must fill his remaining years with meaning, with accomplishments, with moments that he wishes would drag out a little slower - like a ball at its highest point.
Friday, September 18, 2009
September Pause
Has it really been nearly 3 weeks since I last wrote something on here? Things have been busy. Free time - such as time to spend typing random gibberish on a blog that resides on a dusty, seldom-traveled side road of the internet - has become a scarce commodity.
But it's Friday evening....I just got over being sick for the last two weeks...I've been going nonstop with schoolwork and I'm just a little rundown and out of gas. I took a break last night for the Canes victory over Georgia Tech...but I still feel the need for more idle time. How about those Canes? Are we finally back? Man, I hope so....it's been a long, miserable few years of watching my beloved Canes' dynasty crumble and then be rebuilt. We Canes fans have suffered greatly - had our hearts broken (by other teams, our own team, and a certain coach who shall not be named) - had to endure the freakin' Florida Gators rise to dominance. And now...maybe...just maybe...we're back.
How about those Bears??? meh....not so much. Urlacher breaks his wrist and is done for the year. Cutler and the offense have a meltdown against the Packers. Ugh.......
I passed up drafting Adrian Peterson in my fantasy league's draft. (So did a couple of other people) I went with the Bears' Matt Forte instead - because he gets lot of receptions and receiving yards. Peterson typically does not. In fantasy football -- that matters! But after week 1 I am filled with regret. Especially when I see those cool Nike commercials where Adrian Peterson is running all over a dark, snowy field, tossing opponents out of the way as ominous music plays and finally at the end he sits down at his locker and appears to be some sort of alien or creature or secret army project. Awesome commercial....but nevertheless it shrouds my soul in the mists of Fantasy Draft Regret. It is a common and unfortunate affliction.
The latest Muse album (The Resistance) came out this week. It is quite frankly, unreal. Lyrically it's like protest music for those who see the insidious socialistic workings going on in our world today. A pre-emptive call to rise against the movements to a one-world-government, a fascist/socialist America, etc. If you're angry at the socialists - or just don't like any of the people in power (worldwide) and if you don't like the way our modern society tries to program us -- then you will find solace and a kindred spirit in this album. Musically they continue to evolve. One can hear a connection to their last album (Blackholes and Revelations), as well as David Bowie and Queen influences. A wide swathe of genres are represented -- from synthesizer-heavy foot-stompers to rhythmic hip-hop/pop vibes and the considerable orchestral arrangements. It feels like a concept album...like something from a by-gone era when bands made music because it was art and it came from inside them -- not just to put out hit singles and cash-in. I can't stop listening to it and I fear i will burn myself out on it soon.....like a moth to a flame....or a man to a beautiful girl....or Chaz to a beer.
But it's Friday evening....I just got over being sick for the last two weeks...I've been going nonstop with schoolwork and I'm just a little rundown and out of gas. I took a break last night for the Canes victory over Georgia Tech...but I still feel the need for more idle time. How about those Canes? Are we finally back? Man, I hope so....it's been a long, miserable few years of watching my beloved Canes' dynasty crumble and then be rebuilt. We Canes fans have suffered greatly - had our hearts broken (by other teams, our own team, and a certain coach who shall not be named) - had to endure the freakin' Florida Gators rise to dominance. And now...maybe...just maybe...we're back.
How about those Bears??? meh....not so much. Urlacher breaks his wrist and is done for the year. Cutler and the offense have a meltdown against the Packers. Ugh.......
I passed up drafting Adrian Peterson in my fantasy league's draft. (So did a couple of other people) I went with the Bears' Matt Forte instead - because he gets lot of receptions and receiving yards. Peterson typically does not. In fantasy football -- that matters! But after week 1 I am filled with regret. Especially when I see those cool Nike commercials where Adrian Peterson is running all over a dark, snowy field, tossing opponents out of the way as ominous music plays and finally at the end he sits down at his locker and appears to be some sort of alien or creature or secret army project. Awesome commercial....but nevertheless it shrouds my soul in the mists of Fantasy Draft Regret. It is a common and unfortunate affliction.
The latest Muse album (The Resistance) came out this week. It is quite frankly, unreal. Lyrically it's like protest music for those who see the insidious socialistic workings going on in our world today. A pre-emptive call to rise against the movements to a one-world-government, a fascist/socialist America, etc. If you're angry at the socialists - or just don't like any of the people in power (worldwide) and if you don't like the way our modern society tries to program us -- then you will find solace and a kindred spirit in this album. Musically they continue to evolve. One can hear a connection to their last album (Blackholes and Revelations), as well as David Bowie and Queen influences. A wide swathe of genres are represented -- from synthesizer-heavy foot-stompers to rhythmic hip-hop/pop vibes and the considerable orchestral arrangements. It feels like a concept album...like something from a by-gone era when bands made music because it was art and it came from inside them -- not just to put out hit singles and cash-in. I can't stop listening to it and I fear i will burn myself out on it soon.....like a moth to a flame....or a man to a beautiful girl....or Chaz to a beer.
Monday, August 31, 2009
A Little Something With Your Coffee
It's a Monday morning. And the final day of another month of all our lives that is slipping away into oblivion and the beyond. Time and life (not the magazines) - always in their relentless march, leaving us grasping at the air and begging for yesteryear.
I recently had some advice for a college freshman who had just moved into his dorm: Leave your door open at all hours and say hi to every single person who walks by. Not creepy hi. Not lame hi. Not sarcastic, I'm-a-skateboard-punk-who-says-hi-as-a-way-of-being-funny-to-my-skateboard-punk-friends hi. Just a nice, friendly smile and a "hey, what's up?" Don't be like me - wasting your freshman year living in a cave, seeing only unfriendly faces whenever you cross path with others when in all likelihood, they're just putting up a tough front like you. And this got me to wondering what I'm doing wrong now. What advice would my future self be screaming at me if he could go back in time (but naturally be unable to be heard by me or even seen...like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol)? Is he standing here right now, pleading with me, warning me, frantically trying to prevent the sands from slipping through the hourglass?
I find that the Foo Fighters (or maybe simply Dave Grohl's voice) always makes me feel 19 or 20. Whereas Thom Yorke's voice (Radiohead) feels more mid-20s. And Daniel Johns (Silverchair) seems to fit my current age, place, time, spot in the sun. (What any of that means to you, dear readers, I have no idea...I'm simply musing openly this morning...)
This weekend I was lucky enough to catch "Inglorious Basterds." Superb film. Much better than the current elitist flavor-of-the-year "District 9." IB didn't follow any predictable plot-line and at no point could I discern where the moving was going - meaning, no tired sigh and me thinking to myself "O-kay...I see what's going to happen now....get on with it..." (a very refreshing and pleasing aspect). The style was inescapably Tarantino-esque, but it also did not feel like a rehashing of his older works.
The poor souls who encounter me on a daily basis will now be burdened by an onslaught of Inglorious Basterds lines, repeated ad nauseum, for at least the coming weeks.
That's all I have this morning, folks. Keep fighting the good fight - trying to keep those hourglass sands at bay.
I recently had some advice for a college freshman who had just moved into his dorm: Leave your door open at all hours and say hi to every single person who walks by. Not creepy hi. Not lame hi. Not sarcastic, I'm-a-skateboard-punk-who-says-hi-as-a-way-of-being-funny-to-my-skateboard-punk-friends hi. Just a nice, friendly smile and a "hey, what's up?" Don't be like me - wasting your freshman year living in a cave, seeing only unfriendly faces whenever you cross path with others when in all likelihood, they're just putting up a tough front like you. And this got me to wondering what I'm doing wrong now. What advice would my future self be screaming at me if he could go back in time (but naturally be unable to be heard by me or even seen...like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol)? Is he standing here right now, pleading with me, warning me, frantically trying to prevent the sands from slipping through the hourglass?
I find that the Foo Fighters (or maybe simply Dave Grohl's voice) always makes me feel 19 or 20. Whereas Thom Yorke's voice (Radiohead) feels more mid-20s. And Daniel Johns (Silverchair) seems to fit my current age, place, time, spot in the sun. (What any of that means to you, dear readers, I have no idea...I'm simply musing openly this morning...)
This weekend I was lucky enough to catch "Inglorious Basterds." Superb film. Much better than the current elitist flavor-of-the-year "District 9." IB didn't follow any predictable plot-line and at no point could I discern where the moving was going - meaning, no tired sigh and me thinking to myself "O-kay...I see what's going to happen now....get on with it..." (a very refreshing and pleasing aspect). The style was inescapably Tarantino-esque, but it also did not feel like a rehashing of his older works.
The poor souls who encounter me on a daily basis will now be burdened by an onslaught of Inglorious Basterds lines, repeated ad nauseum, for at least the coming weeks.
That's all I have this morning, folks. Keep fighting the good fight - trying to keep those hourglass sands at bay.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Random Saturday Thoughts
Random Saturday Morning Thoughts:
1. As I mentioned in today's FB status - I have no problem with the CIA using mock executions to gain information from terrorists. In fact, it's something I would expect and be upset if they DIDN'T use. Have we seriously gotten to the point where we won't let the people who are trying to stop the monsters (i.e. terrorists who spend every waking moment plotting to annihilate men, women, and children) to PRETEND to execute someone so as to intimidate or frighten these soulless gents into giving up information? What's next? Will the ACLU demand that Emeril cook all their meals personally? Front row seats to the Jonas Brothers? How about we're only allowed to ask them about potential plots against Americans in writing - once a month - and it has to be written on construction paper, in crayons, and must be phrased in a friendly and casual manner so as not to upset the poor dears? Meanwhile it's totally cool for the terrorists to bomb, shoot, disembowel, and re-enact every torture scene from the Saw movies on their victims. Madness!
2. The weather these past two months has been just amazing. (Yes, I just used the word "amazing" which happens to be the catchphrase of 18-20 year old girls when describing just about anything. Oddly enough, it was also used in the same manner, with the same inflection, and same pause between the "a" and "mazing" back when I was just a lad. Some things DO never change....) It's August and it is 80 degrees outside. We haven't had our usual droughts and I don't think we've had a single day in the triple digits all summer long. Wonderful weather! Phenomenal! A-mazing!
3. Why do I seem to have more dreams (or at least remember them far better) when I sleep on two pillows instead of just one?
4. I definitely should've seen "The Goods" last weekend instead of "District 9." My brother went and saw the former without me this week, so now I probably won't get to see it until it comes out on DVD. Actually, no. More like I won't get to see it until a few years from now when I'm at a friend's house and they say "you've never seen The Goods?!?!?! How did you not see it?!?! It's hilarious!" And then they'll put the DVD on, but 20 minutes in a pipe will burst in the kitchen or a wife will start having an allergic reaction, or a child will be throwing a temper tantrum, or a dog will lap up a few beers and get behind the wheel of the family SUV - and the movie will be stopped and I'll go home and it'll be another year or two before I catch the rest of it on TBS. What would I do without TBS?
5. Please. Please. PLEASE die reality tv! DIE! Reality tv is destroying what's left of our society's cognitive skills. The youth are already toast. It just needs to be abolished. Along with MTV. In fact, anyone associated with MTV or its programming should be rounded up and exiled to Siberia.
6. When one is making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, it is imperative that one use the "old fashioned" (full size) oats rather than the processed (and de-tastified) "quick 1-minute" oats.
7. Why do old men in gym locker-rooms insist on sitting completely naked and chatting with each other in front of other people's lockers? How is this a fun or enjoyable activity? Why not get dressed, leave the gym, and go chat over coffee or a sandwich somewhere? Aren't coffee and sandwiches and fully-clothed-conversations better than nude ones in food-less, moderately smelly locations where other men of varying ages and body tones are changing clothes?
8. I think cats see things that humans cannot.
9. Why do human beings spend 90% of their lives performing tasks they a) don't like, b) hate, c) find miserable, d) don't care about, or e) all of the above rather than spending the majority of their short time on earth doing things they actually enjoy and being around those they care about? It's insane! We get jobs and careers because we HAVE to, and then we're forced to spend most of our time toiling at them. I don't want to meet the man who would rather sit in a cubicle writing reports and giving presentations and checking regulations and protocols rather than be at home with his family or climbing a mountain or throwing a football with friends while grilling bratwursts. There's a small percentage of people out there who do not have to fall into this trap -- they truly love what they do or what they do is their dream. I do not want to fall into the trap, I want to be one of the lucky few. But the trap is like a gaping maw, a blackhole with a cackling laugh and giant neon signs around it like mouth tentacles on some nightmarish alien face that read "MISERY AHEAD," "THEY OWN YOU," "HAPPINESS IS NOT ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT," "IT'S UNFULFILLMENT FOR YOU, PAL." NO, no no! I do not want my life to be wasted like that! I only get one life - one shot! This isn't a game or a dream or a movie - this is real! REAL! ONE shot! No do-overs, no trying-it-again-next-time-around. THIS IS NOT A DREAM! THIS IS YOUR LIFE! THIS IS NOT A MOVIE! YOU ARE REAL! YES YOU! THE ONE READING THIS AND SUBCONSCIOUSLY GOING THROUGH LIFE LIKE IT'S ONE BIG MOVIE THAT YOU'RE WATCHING! IT'S NOT A MOVIE! IT'S REAL! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! LOOK AT YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW! TELL YOURSELF -- "THOSE ARE MY HANDS! I AM REAL! THIS IS REALLY REAL RIGHT F'N NOW! THIS IS ALL HAPPENING!" Come off of the autopilot that we all leave on as we race through our daily lives. It gets harder to do the older you get. When I was a child I would frequently pause, look at my hands, tell myself something like I just told you to say, and it would literally (totally serious) hit me that I was real and alive and it would fill me with this mixture of dawning and panic and understanding. It was scary but also life-affirming. It was always literally like waking up from a sleep. But it would only last a few moments and I could feel my body and mind slipping back under.....now that I'm older it's harder to achieve these moments....but when they come they are still rather shocking to the system. I'm sure right now your autopilot is dismissing all this that I'm saying - maybe you're laughing to yourself - "oh, that Rick...he's so goofy, where does he come up with this stuff?" But I'm honestly telling you that if you can turn that autopilot off and "awake" for just a few moments, it will leave you feeling like the sky was just removed from the earth and you heard God clearing his throat up there.
1. As I mentioned in today's FB status - I have no problem with the CIA using mock executions to gain information from terrorists. In fact, it's something I would expect and be upset if they DIDN'T use. Have we seriously gotten to the point where we won't let the people who are trying to stop the monsters (i.e. terrorists who spend every waking moment plotting to annihilate men, women, and children) to PRETEND to execute someone so as to intimidate or frighten these soulless gents into giving up information? What's next? Will the ACLU demand that Emeril cook all their meals personally? Front row seats to the Jonas Brothers? How about we're only allowed to ask them about potential plots against Americans in writing - once a month - and it has to be written on construction paper, in crayons, and must be phrased in a friendly and casual manner so as not to upset the poor dears? Meanwhile it's totally cool for the terrorists to bomb, shoot, disembowel, and re-enact every torture scene from the Saw movies on their victims. Madness!
2. The weather these past two months has been just amazing. (Yes, I just used the word "amazing" which happens to be the catchphrase of 18-20 year old girls when describing just about anything. Oddly enough, it was also used in the same manner, with the same inflection, and same pause between the "a" and "mazing" back when I was just a lad. Some things DO never change....) It's August and it is 80 degrees outside. We haven't had our usual droughts and I don't think we've had a single day in the triple digits all summer long. Wonderful weather! Phenomenal! A-mazing!
3. Why do I seem to have more dreams (or at least remember them far better) when I sleep on two pillows instead of just one?
4. I definitely should've seen "The Goods" last weekend instead of "District 9." My brother went and saw the former without me this week, so now I probably won't get to see it until it comes out on DVD. Actually, no. More like I won't get to see it until a few years from now when I'm at a friend's house and they say "you've never seen The Goods?!?!?! How did you not see it?!?! It's hilarious!" And then they'll put the DVD on, but 20 minutes in a pipe will burst in the kitchen or a wife will start having an allergic reaction, or a child will be throwing a temper tantrum, or a dog will lap up a few beers and get behind the wheel of the family SUV - and the movie will be stopped and I'll go home and it'll be another year or two before I catch the rest of it on TBS. What would I do without TBS?
5. Please. Please. PLEASE die reality tv! DIE! Reality tv is destroying what's left of our society's cognitive skills. The youth are already toast. It just needs to be abolished. Along with MTV. In fact, anyone associated with MTV or its programming should be rounded up and exiled to Siberia.
6. When one is making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, it is imperative that one use the "old fashioned" (full size) oats rather than the processed (and de-tastified) "quick 1-minute" oats.
7. Why do old men in gym locker-rooms insist on sitting completely naked and chatting with each other in front of other people's lockers? How is this a fun or enjoyable activity? Why not get dressed, leave the gym, and go chat over coffee or a sandwich somewhere? Aren't coffee and sandwiches and fully-clothed-conversations better than nude ones in food-less, moderately smelly locations where other men of varying ages and body tones are changing clothes?
8. I think cats see things that humans cannot.
9. Why do human beings spend 90% of their lives performing tasks they a) don't like, b) hate, c) find miserable, d) don't care about, or e) all of the above rather than spending the majority of their short time on earth doing things they actually enjoy and being around those they care about? It's insane! We get jobs and careers because we HAVE to, and then we're forced to spend most of our time toiling at them. I don't want to meet the man who would rather sit in a cubicle writing reports and giving presentations and checking regulations and protocols rather than be at home with his family or climbing a mountain or throwing a football with friends while grilling bratwursts. There's a small percentage of people out there who do not have to fall into this trap -- they truly love what they do or what they do is their dream. I do not want to fall into the trap, I want to be one of the lucky few. But the trap is like a gaping maw, a blackhole with a cackling laugh and giant neon signs around it like mouth tentacles on some nightmarish alien face that read "MISERY AHEAD," "THEY OWN YOU," "HAPPINESS IS NOT ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT," "IT'S UNFULFILLMENT FOR YOU, PAL." NO, no no! I do not want my life to be wasted like that! I only get one life - one shot! This isn't a game or a dream or a movie - this is real! REAL! ONE shot! No do-overs, no trying-it-again-next-time-around. THIS IS NOT A DREAM! THIS IS YOUR LIFE! THIS IS NOT A MOVIE! YOU ARE REAL! YES YOU! THE ONE READING THIS AND SUBCONSCIOUSLY GOING THROUGH LIFE LIKE IT'S ONE BIG MOVIE THAT YOU'RE WATCHING! IT'S NOT A MOVIE! IT'S REAL! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! LOOK AT YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW! TELL YOURSELF -- "THOSE ARE MY HANDS! I AM REAL! THIS IS REALLY REAL RIGHT F'N NOW! THIS IS ALL HAPPENING!" Come off of the autopilot that we all leave on as we race through our daily lives. It gets harder to do the older you get. When I was a child I would frequently pause, look at my hands, tell myself something like I just told you to say, and it would literally (totally serious) hit me that I was real and alive and it would fill me with this mixture of dawning and panic and understanding. It was scary but also life-affirming. It was always literally like waking up from a sleep. But it would only last a few moments and I could feel my body and mind slipping back under.....now that I'm older it's harder to achieve these moments....but when they come they are still rather shocking to the system. I'm sure right now your autopilot is dismissing all this that I'm saying - maybe you're laughing to yourself - "oh, that Rick...he's so goofy, where does he come up with this stuff?" But I'm honestly telling you that if you can turn that autopilot off and "awake" for just a few moments, it will leave you feeling like the sky was just removed from the earth and you heard God clearing his throat up there.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Let the constant studying begin
The Fall semester begins tomorrow (for some of us, at least). Some of my big, menacing engineering textbooks arrived this weekend. I've been reading through them a bit and have to say that they are at least more interesting than anything we covered last year. But that's not saying much. That train of thought has led me to the notion of rating my interest in different potential course subjects. On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being complete disinterest, misery, and ranting about the subject's pointlessness and 5 being a subject that does not require effort to pay attention nor feel like "school" or "work." Everybody got that? Okay, here goes:
Last year's subjects:
Differential Equations (a.k.a. Calculus IV): 0 (I would give it a negative rating, but I'm afraid someone would misinterpret the minus sign and think I was just giving it a good grade. The asinine textbook attempted to teach a "math" subject with lots and lots of words! As much as I love the written word, I do NOT learn math through vague paragraphs explaining equally vague concepts about mathematical nonsense.)
Physics II: 1 (Circuits, charges, resistors? Ugh, I don't care. But at least there were fewer lousy X-Y graphs and Calculus equations mixed in than there were in Physics I)
Thermodynamics: 1.5 (Horrifically vague and conceptual -- not just to me, but to all engineering students. Page after page of outlandish equations. And to make matters worse our textbook was written for Hell's Engineering College, where students are tortured for eternity with books that are mostly incoherent and indecipherable.)
Materials Science: 0.5 (The only edge is had over DE was that it was not entirely about insipid Calculus functions and actually covered real-life concepts. Unfortunately, the class came after 3 other back-to-back-to-back classes, leaped around from concept to concept, covered a thousand different annoying and similar equations, and was taught in such a manner as to make it seem like a good way to get information out of captured terrorists. Even though I was utterly disinterested in DE, by the end I didn't mind going to that class -- but Materials was misery. Pure misery.)
Potential Classes, Future Classes, Other Past Classes, Etc:
College Football 101: 5
Advanced Beer Brewing: 5
Victoria's Secret Supermodels Field Study: 5
Animal Behavior: 5
The Works of Joseph Heller, Douglas Adams, and Mark Twain: 5
Straight Forward How-To Make, Fix, Heal, and Perform Everything From Penicillin to Minor Surgery: 5
Comedic Improv: 5
Fantasy Sports Science: 5
Independent Study - Novel Writing: 5
World War II History (without perspective of the "blame America" crowd, i.e. American not presented as a negative entity): 5
Film-making: 4.5
Wine-tasting and Cheese-eating: 4.5
Tomato Farming: 4.5
Straight Forward Specific Explanation of how Medications React With the Human Body (no x-y graphs or equations allowed): 4
Astronomy: 4
Wildlife Biology: 4 (potential for 5)
Firearm Instruction and Safety: 4
Script-writing: 4
Pyschology: 4
Theories of Stephen Hawking: 3.5
Space Exploration: 3.5 (potential for 4 or 4.5 depending on professor and presentation of material)
UFOs and Other Unexplained Phenomenon: 3.5 (loses points because it has the potential to get really wacky and baseless)
Study of Military Aircraft and Seagoing Vessels Throughout History: 3.5
Military Tactics: 3
Rollercoaster Design: 3
Coffee - From the Field to Your Cup: 3
Surviving in the Wild/Surviving Collapse of Civilization: 3
Meteorology: 3
Botany: 2.5
Infectious Diseases: 2.5
Anatomy: 2.5
History of the Olympic Games: 2
Skyscraper Engineering: 2
Aeronautical Engineering: 2
Biology: 2
Property Law: 2
Criminal Law: 2
Economics: 1
Cell Biology: 1
Statistics: 1
Physics: 1
How-To Use Your Graphing TI Calculator: 1
Computer Programming: 0
Calculus: 0
Study of X-Y Graphs: 0
Talking on the Phone With Credit Card Companies: 0
Dealing with Academic and Federal Bureaucracy: 0
Self-Dentistry: 0
Last year's subjects:
Differential Equations (a.k.a. Calculus IV): 0 (I would give it a negative rating, but I'm afraid someone would misinterpret the minus sign and think I was just giving it a good grade. The asinine textbook attempted to teach a "math" subject with lots and lots of words! As much as I love the written word, I do NOT learn math through vague paragraphs explaining equally vague concepts about mathematical nonsense.)
Physics II: 1 (Circuits, charges, resistors? Ugh, I don't care. But at least there were fewer lousy X-Y graphs and Calculus equations mixed in than there were in Physics I)
Thermodynamics: 1.5 (Horrifically vague and conceptual -- not just to me, but to all engineering students. Page after page of outlandish equations. And to make matters worse our textbook was written for Hell's Engineering College, where students are tortured for eternity with books that are mostly incoherent and indecipherable.)
Materials Science: 0.5 (The only edge is had over DE was that it was not entirely about insipid Calculus functions and actually covered real-life concepts. Unfortunately, the class came after 3 other back-to-back-to-back classes, leaped around from concept to concept, covered a thousand different annoying and similar equations, and was taught in such a manner as to make it seem like a good way to get information out of captured terrorists. Even though I was utterly disinterested in DE, by the end I didn't mind going to that class -- but Materials was misery. Pure misery.)
Potential Classes, Future Classes, Other Past Classes, Etc:
College Football 101: 5
Advanced Beer Brewing: 5
Victoria's Secret Supermodels Field Study: 5
Animal Behavior: 5
The Works of Joseph Heller, Douglas Adams, and Mark Twain: 5
Straight Forward How-To Make, Fix, Heal, and Perform Everything From Penicillin to Minor Surgery: 5
Comedic Improv: 5
Fantasy Sports Science: 5
Independent Study - Novel Writing: 5
World War II History (without perspective of the "blame America" crowd, i.e. American not presented as a negative entity): 5
Film-making: 4.5
Wine-tasting and Cheese-eating: 4.5
Tomato Farming: 4.5
Straight Forward Specific Explanation of how Medications React With the Human Body (no x-y graphs or equations allowed): 4
Astronomy: 4
Wildlife Biology: 4 (potential for 5)
Firearm Instruction and Safety: 4
Script-writing: 4
Pyschology: 4
Theories of Stephen Hawking: 3.5
Space Exploration: 3.5 (potential for 4 or 4.5 depending on professor and presentation of material)
UFOs and Other Unexplained Phenomenon: 3.5 (loses points because it has the potential to get really wacky and baseless)
Study of Military Aircraft and Seagoing Vessels Throughout History: 3.5
Military Tactics: 3
Rollercoaster Design: 3
Coffee - From the Field to Your Cup: 3
Surviving in the Wild/Surviving Collapse of Civilization: 3
Meteorology: 3
Botany: 2.5
Infectious Diseases: 2.5
Anatomy: 2.5
History of the Olympic Games: 2
Skyscraper Engineering: 2
Aeronautical Engineering: 2
Biology: 2
Property Law: 2
Criminal Law: 2
Economics: 1
Cell Biology: 1
Statistics: 1
Physics: 1
How-To Use Your Graphing TI Calculator: 1
Computer Programming: 0
Calculus: 0
Study of X-Y Graphs: 0
Talking on the Phone With Credit Card Companies: 0
Dealing with Academic and Federal Bureaucracy: 0
Self-Dentistry: 0
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