Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Meagan Fox and My Inner Critic

Recently my dear mother kept an article from the Wall Street Journal (one of the few newspapers left that hasn't devolved into "rag" status or merely a propaganda forum) for me to read. It was about how many or most of us have an inner critic, who often can be more harsh than any outside voice. I've been telling people for a decade that I'm a perfectionist with an over-active and extremely Hitler-esque inner critic. Often this Inner Hitler had been an obstacle in nearly everything I attempt. Particularly (since about middle school) in my writing.

So, although the article was nothing new to me, it was nice to see the positives and negatives of self-criticism being acknowledged. The article also contained a brief quiz meant to assess one's level of self-criticism and perfectionism. 15 statements with a certain number of points allotted for the level of agreement with each statement.

Okay, fine. Since I can almost read your thoughts right now, I'll go ahead and give you what you want and type out the whole stupid quiz so you can take it yourself. (but if I get sued for copyright infringement, I blame you all)

For each statement, indicate the number that best describes how you feel most of the time.
1 - Totally disagree; 2 - Disagree very much; 3 - Disagree slightly; 4 - neutral; 5 - Agree slightly; 6 - Agree very much; 7 - Totally agree

1. It is difficult to be happy unless one is good-looking, intelligent, rich and creative.
2. People will probably think less of me if I make a mistake.
3. If I do not do well all the time, people will not respect me.
4. If a person asks for help, it is a sign of weakness.
5. If I do not do as well as other people, it means I am a weak person.
6. If I fail at my work, then I am a failure as a person.
7. If you cannot do something well, there is little point in doing it at all.
8. If someone disagrees with me, it probably indicates he does not like me.
9. If I fail partly, it is as bad as being a complete failure.
10. If other people know what you are really like, they will think less of you.
11. If I don't set the highest standards for myself, I am likely to end up a second-rate person.
12. If I am to be a worthwhile person, I must be the best in at least one way.
13. People who have good ideas are better than those who do not.
14. I should be upset if I make a mistake.
15. If I ask a question, it makes me look stupid.


I went through the quiz and came to a score of 59. (and that was being conservative) 54 or higher indicates a high level of self-criticism and perfectionism. 39 is average and 24 or less indicates a low level of self-criticism and perfectionism.

So how did everyone do? I'd love to hear some of your scores. C'mon...I shared mine...

Okay...onto my other topic of the day: Meagan Fox. She does nothing for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah - technically she's gorgeous, but her portrayed image just comes across as so vapid, shallow, and lacking personality that her physical beauty is completely negated. When I hear a fellow man gasping through barely restrained wanton desire the many perceived wonders of Ms. Fox, I know that man does not place much value on intelligence, personality, charm, poise, and other non-mammalian traits of attraction. Give me Kate Beckinsale any day over Fox. Beckinsale's (or at least her portrayed image) the kind of woman who can kill the undead in skintight black leather, go frolicking on the beach with you, laugh at your stupid jokes, move you to write songs and lay waste to countless villages, and still tuck the kids in at night while saving energy for quality time with her man. Hmm....wouldn't it be ironic if in reality both Fox and Beckinsale were nothing like their images -- or even reversed? (and when I talk about portrayed images, I don't exactly mean the roles they play in movies, but rather how they come across as real people) Regardless, I'm sticking with Becks.

Oh, and let's not forget Fox's little comments about how she wishes Megatron (the villain from the Transformers movies) would blow up middle America with all it's Bible-thumping rednecks. I don't have her exact quote handy, but if you replace all the descriptors she used pertaining to many average Christians in this country with words that describe terrorists or a random minority group, her statement would have been heralded as racist, immoral, unconscionable, and stupid. But thanks to our cultures wacky double-standards, it's still totally cool to say bad things about Christians and "middle America." After all, they just "cling to their guns and religion".....wait a minute, Fox didn't say that part....who was that again? Oh yeah...

A few more random comments before I go:
1. I've found recently that it is actually EASIER for me to run the hotter and muggier it is outside. I've always been unable to run in cold weather - harder to breath, the throat burns, nose runs, muscles ache and feel lifeless. Perhaps the warmer, more humid air helps keep my body loose. This could help particularly with my chronic sciatica problems. Whatever it is, this recent heat wave of 90 degree temperatures has me bursting with energy each time I go for a run.

2. Salmon could be the perfect food. There's nothing bad in it and each fillet (at least the one's in the freezer) has about 40 grams of protein! For someone as health conscious and mildly-addicted to working out as me, that's a gold mine! Last night I made an amazing salmon salad -- and normally I don't care for meat mixed with vegetables in salad-form. It was so good I ate the leftovers for breakfast this morning -- and I just might make it again tonight!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Housecleaning and Best Fight Scenes

First - the housecleaning:
1. If you want some good insight on the evils of socialized health care (which is essentially what government run health care is), I suggest reading anything Stuart Varney has to say on the subject. He's an excellent journalist who lived in Great Britain and experienced socialized/nationalized/whatever term you prefer health care firsthand. Now he sees it coming our way.

On a personal note, while I have complained about my health insurance rates going up in recent years, I still do not want to see my provider run out of business by an undercutting government program. If there's a new massive government program out there at a cheaper rate, corporations are going to look at the numbers and start dumping Blue Cross Blue Shield and other private providers. Just like in The Office when they made Michael Scott pick the cheapest plan for his branch (but then he gave the duty to Dwight, who picked the worst plan imaginable). Also, it would be expected for the government (especially this government) to offer incentives to corporations and other groups to join the new government plan. Sure, you can keep your private plan....as long as that private company still exists. (as I often say, you can hardly ever take a politician at their word -- just because they say they're doing one thing, doesn't mean it's true. When some scam artist is bilking a kindly grandmother out of her life savings, he doesn't say "hey, I'm going to steal from you now." Instead he says "Oh, no, I'm not stealing from you - I'm here to help. That's just silly talk. I'm here to help you!"

As BCBS and others lose corporations, they have to find a way to stay afloat. So, perhaps they make up their losses by raising individual plan rates (like mine) to the point that we individuals can no longer afford to keep our plans...and are forced to join the inferior government plan. Soon BCBS and its kin are dinosaurs - fossilizing in ancient river beds for future combustion, followed by demonization as the cause of future cyclical climate change which is then politicized and used as a means to gain power and control. Then we face two extremes: Massive over-crowding in our doctors' offices and hospitals as people seek medical attention for every little ache and pain ("I kinda have a headache, I need an MRI") OR rationing of procedures, tests, and exams as government bureaucrats (lovingly called "central planners" by some people not fond of the current administration) make the decisions on whether or not you are deserving of such care.

2. Hmm....I wrote the previous part of this several days ago...now I've entirely forgotten what the other "housecleaning" issues were....

Okay -- onto the Best Fight Scenes. Recently I took part in a random discussion about the best movie fight scenes. These could be considered for a variety of reasons - such as the action itself, the characters involved, length, comedic factor, etc. Here are some of the favorites (in no particular order):

1. (They Live) --- Roddy Piper versus Keith David -- a cult-classic 80s sci-fi/horror movie about alien invaders who look like humans and whose true hideous appearance can only be seen when one is wearing cool-for-the-80s black sunglasses. These two have a ridiculously long fight-scene that harkens to Piper's day job as a pro wrestler.

2. (Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith) -- Obi-Wan Kenobi vs Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader --- the epic duel that ultimately leaves Anakin's charred and limbless form lying beside a river of lava remains one of the few things George Lucas has gotten right in the last couple of decades.

3. (Fight Club) -- Edward Norton vs himself (literally) --- Norton's character beats himself up in order to keep his annoying boss off his back...and also bilks the company out of a nice settlement. I'm sure there are millions of us who have seriously considered pulling this stunt, but never had the guts to go through with it.

4. (Fight Club) -- Edward Norton vs Jared Leto --- Ah...there's something so satisfying about seeing pretty boy actors getting their fictional faces smashed.

5. (Snatch) -- Mickey (Brad Pitt) vs Gorgeous George --- George is a trained bare-knuckle boxer who gets knocked out cold by one punch from Mickey the unassuming gypsey. Good times. Excellent director's work, in my opinion.

6. (Happy Gilmore) -- Happy vs Bob Barker -- how can one not enjoy the octogenarian Price Is Right host trading punches (and crass one-liners) with Adam Sandler? It's just the kind of silly fantasy young men would dream up while goofing around in the backyard: "Hey! Wouldn't it be awesome if, like, Adam Sandler fought Bob Barker?" "Oh dude! That's awesome!"

7. (Snatch) -- Mickey vs whoever-he-was-fighting-at-the-end-of-the-movie -- I can't recall who the opponent was, but the brawl that Mickey was intentionally losing only to ulimately win at the last second and complete his revenge against Bricktop is another fantastic element to a truly great film.

8. (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace) -- Obi Wan and Qui Gon vs Darth Maul --- while the rest of the movie was largely a disappointment (and dismal commentary on George Lucas' handling of one of the most beloved franchises of all time), the lightsaber duel at the end was worth watching. Unfortunately two of the only three cool characters in the entire movie are killed off.

9. (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) -- Indy vs a bunch of Nazis on a moving tank -- One of my all-time favorite movies has a really under-appreciated scene where Indy must rescue his father from inside "the belly of that steel beast" (a pre-WWII era tank). Indy hangs by his satchel from a cannon-barrel, he shoots through multiple Nazi soldiers at the same time with a Luger, he even leaps off the thing at the last second just as it goes over a cliff. What more could you ask for? (besides a 4th Indy movie that wasn't epically ruined by Lucas, Spielberg, and Shia LaBeouf)

10. (Lord of the Rings) -- Gandalf vs the Balrog --- Go ahead. Say the line. Surely you've had a few drinks and stood in front of the bathroom door and said to your buddy "You shall not pass!" Okay, even I haven't done that. Anyway, my inner dork really likes this confrontation. Also I immediately think of the Family Guy episode where Mr. Herbert (a.k.a. - the perverted old man) says the line to a giant, evil, living tree that is attacking Chris Griffin (or whom Herbert once called "the muscly-armed paperboy").

11. (Predator) -- Ah-nold vs the Predator -- "You are one ugly...." As if this classic didn't have enough memorable lines ("Get to the chopp-ah!") and scenes, who can forget the epic slugfest between a mud-encrusted Arnold (still in his prime) and one of the greatest movie aliens of all time? There is actually something in the male DNA that prevents us from ever growing bored with this movie. Seriously.

12. (Anchorman) -- the news-team gang battle royale -- without this scene the movie is significantly less funny. Steve Carrell's character kills a guy....with a trident....after that he lays low for a while.

13. (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) -- King Arthur vs the Black Knight -- "it's just a fleshwound!" And I don't think I need to say anything else.

14. (300) -- Spartans vs innumerable hordes of Persians -- Isn't the whole movie basically one big awesome fight scene? It's impossible to pick just one scene or particular fight. So, I'm lumping all the fight scenes together for the purposes of this list. Prepare for glory!

15. (Kill Bill Part 1) -- The Bride vs The Crazy 88 -- Though I haven't seen this movie in at least 5 years, I can still recall this brutal and very Tarantino-ish bloodbath as being an excellent fight scene. Extra points for the hot-girl-with-a-sword angle.

16. (The Bourne Ultimatum) -- Jason Bourne vs motorcycle guy -- This fight scene set a new bar for realistic and gritty action filmmaking. A hallmark of Bourne movie fights is that, as in real life, the winner of the fight rarely walks away unscathed. There were several other amazing Bourne fight scenes I could include on this list...but I'm confused as to which movie they were in and who he was fighting and why....one was in an apartment against another assassin....hmmm.....

17. (Troy) -- Achilles vs Hector -- two of the ancient world's greatest warriors do battle at the gates of Troy, regrettably one must die. I still can't stomach the end of the film, however, when worthless, conniving, no-good Paris/Orlando Bloom shoots his little arrows. If I'd be directing that movie we would have changed the story around a little more and none of that crap would have happened!

18. (Gladiator) -- Russell Crowe vs anyone put in his way -- I can't even begin to sort through all the great fight scenes in this one. So, I won't bother. You've seen the movie. You know what I mean.

Okay....I'm out of top-of-the-head and stolen-from-the-discussion fight scenes. Feel free to add your own and even rank them if you wish. I'm positive there are dozens of great ones I've neglected to add.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm back...and still scatterbrained

Did anybody miss me? I haven't blogged in nearly 3 weeks. Why? No, I wasn't on vacation (can't afford those these days). I think mostly I felt like I had nothing to say and that nobody would care about anything I had to say even if I did have something to say. Perhaps my old enemy - self-criticism - played a role. And maybe some innocent comments by friends inadvertently led to my inability to write. But today I have forced myself back to the keyboard....still with nothing much to say....

I finally saw "The Hangover" yesterday. It was hilarious...funny all the way through...in fact, it seemed to get funnier as the movie went along. Unfortunately my brain has aged (or at least my priorities) to the point that I can no longer instantly retain all the good memorable lines from movies I've just seen. Also, most of those good lines were probably too vulgar to repeat in this (somewhat) family-friendly blog. To those who have also seen it: I'm still not clear on a couple of things -- 1) How did Phil end up in the hospital? and 2) How did they get the cop car in the first place?

Earlier in the weekend I also saw "The Taking of Pelham 123." It was rather mediocre, as I expected...but not bad. It was entertaining and I believe it sets a new bar for number of uses of the "f-bomb." Seriously. It was so blatant that I got the impression that the director was making a joke out of it - just tossing it into every line of the film. More f-bombs than The Big Lebowski. (That's a lot of f-bombs)

While trying not to pay attention to the news this morning (as these days all it does it agitate, depress, enrage, or otherwise make me feel ill) I couldn't help but notice some segment on exercise for the elderly. And it made me think that we really need to step up the science of creating artificial limbs/organs/entire bodies. I KNOW we can do it! "Oh, but it would cost too much - wahhhh!" Do you know how much it costs to take care of the elderly as it is???? When I get old I want my own replacement organs, robotic limbs that look perfectly real yet out-perform actual human limbs, or even a whole new android body for my brain to run around in. Let's make it happen people! Old age is out there, lurking, waiting, snickering sadisitically to itself in the shadows while fumbling with a package of Twinkies as it watches you go for that Saturday morning jog and come back aching just a tiny bit more each day! He may inevitably take me - but by golly, I'm going down like a Spartan!

Ah, but with socialized health care right around the corner - we're all in big trouble anyway. Just pray you don't get sick. Seriously. We currently have the best health care system in the world - even with all its quirks and problems. But we're about to go back to the Stone Age. But why waste my energy typing about it....those of you who get it - get it. Those who disagree will always disagree. Let's just split the country in two before things get really REALLY out of control. (Because we're already at just "really out of control.")

If any of you haven't seen the Mike Judge film "Idiocracy," do yourself a favor and check it out. Or at least watch the first 5 minutes where they compare the breeding rates of the stupid and non-stupid in our culture. It's funny, alarming, scary, and shockingly accurate.

Hmm...something light and humorous to wrap this blog up with....hmm...

Oh. Over the weekend Petsmart had pet adoption days on both Saturday and Sunday. I'm (jokingly) not allowed to go near that place on such days, yet this weekend I happened to be there both times. But I didn't adopt anything. So, that's good. I CAN fight temptation after all.