Thursday, December 17, 2009

Pre-Christmas Thoughts

Why do "they" make it sound like getting alternate student loans for college is easy and simple? It's not. In fact, it seems much more likely that the whole thing is a scheme to get people to spend time and money going to school for 3 years and then make it impossible for them to get the necessary funds to complete their degree. Then they sit back and laugh. "They" should be rounded up and fed to pteradactyls. (I think I just misspelled pteradactyls...but I'm too lazy to go look up the correct spelling)

Is anyone else disturbed by these Gap commercials with the little girls dancing around doing a cheer about how their clothes are "officially retired?" There's just something...wrong about it. And the cheer gets stuck in my head. "I love my comfy sweater - I love my comfy sweater - how cute are these boots? how cute are these boots?" Consequently the ad has taught me the "talk to the moose" thing where you stick your hands against your head like moose-antlers (this is as opposed to simply saying "talk to the hand" and extending one's hand palm outwards.). Hey, student loan people - talk to the moose! ....and my fist....

Did anyone else hear about the octopus that carries coconut shells across the seafloor and uses them as shelter? It's the first documented instance of an invertebrate, such as an octopus, using tools. Pretty cool stuff....wish I had an octopus....I bet he could get a student loan....(grumble grumble grumble)....

Did they really come out with more stupid reality singing shows recently? I see society's IQ continues to drop at an alarming rate. Maybe an evil one-world government is just what some of this world needs. Let the rest of us go colonize Mars first, though. And we're taking the octopi with us! (That's plural for octopus)

I heard we have a chance for a tiny amount of snow on Saturday. Less than an inch. You know what this means? All the grocery stores will be cleaned out of milk and bread in the next 48 hours. All generators in the tri-state area will be sold out. Salt trucks will be running non-stop beginning at noon today. Gas lines. Gas line brawls. Shoving matches in church parking lots. 3 weeks without power. College football mascots flying F-14s and doing barrel-rolls while Van Halen blasts from gigantic hidden speakers which can somehow be heard but not seen by everyone within a 100 mile radius. ........I know I can't wait!

I just realized this morning that we don't have a Christmas tree up in the house. Wow. Just...wow. I'd also like to take this moment to metaphorically get in everyone's face and say that they are CHRISTMAS TREES not "Holiday trees." Political correctness is a disease. It's way worse than swine flu. But not as profitable as global warming....(wink)

How come it's so much easier for me to write blogs on days when I really need to be studying, writing papers, or working on important Christmas break projects for professors?

3 comments:

  1. What!?!? No Christmas tree?!?! You must go out and obtain one or go to storage and pull it out. I would lend you one, but I'm not up for the drive. It literally looks like Christmas vomited in my home.

    I expect it to start snowing here any time now..it might actually be too cold. I forget, at what point does it become to cold for snow?

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  2. You know...as an engineer (or soon to be one) you'd think I should know the point at which it is too cold fro snow to form. But i don't. I blame the education system. instead I know how to use the Bernoulli equation to find velocity or pressure or any other individual variable. Fat lot of good that does me.

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  3. To each their own. Yours is a Christmas Tree. This year I'm calling ours a Celebratory Winter Solstice Conifer. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it but I'm okay with that.

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