Good morning, America. While you were asleep all these months, socialists made a power-grab. Get that coffee down and continue voicing your disgust with this health care nightmare plan they have. You don't want a government agency deciding which medical treatments you can have? Me neither. You don't like the idea of such a government body letting the sick and elderly die because it costs too much to treat them? You think that sounds a bit too much like legalized genocide? Yeah, me too. You think it's good that you can decide if and when you go to the doctor and generally get an appointment fairly soon? Yes, that is pretty nice. You mean you don't want to have to wait months or years and have the doctor you visit determined by the government? And you think it's wrong for the government to be able to access your bank account? What does that even have to do with health care? Why would that even be in the health care bill? And how come they feel this need to rush an extremely drastic and apparently UNREAD piece of legislation that affects every single aspect of our lives down our throats? Perhaps because America is not as stupid as they thought. (Or as we thought.) As outraged Americans tell members of Congress how they feel about their "plans," these "public servants" look down at us, say that we're all fakes, plants, "manufactured." The sad thing is, these career politicians with their superior attitudes will likely continue to ignore us, dismiss us, and see us as nothing more than gnats. Finally - FINALLY - other Americans other than myself seem to be awakening to the fake way that most politicians speak! That lawyer-esque, salesman, wishy-washy, dance-around-the-truth-by-saying-nothing-at-all disgusting soulless politician-speak! Keep the coffee coming, America. Keep fighting.
(a side note:)
For my liberal friends who may be thinking of answering the White House's call and reporting me to them for "spreading disinformation" regarding health care.....I ask how you would have felt had the Bush administration asked Americans to report on other Americans who were "spreading disinformation" about the Iraq War? I have heard that this could actually be illegal, as in the government cannot gather information on private citizens who are practicing their right to free speech. But if the White House wants to know who is spreading disinformation -- shouldn't they be reporting themselves and the DNC?
This is not a game. This isn't like going out to eat and trying something new and just seeing how it tastes. This isn't just a fun debate where one side wins and gets to go have a pizza party and be patted on the head by their professor.
Wake up, everybody!
If you don't think the mainstream media is completely in the tank for one side - consider this: recently there was a Tea Party rally in Columbus, Ohio. The MSM largely failed to even mention it - and when it was, it was passed off as "a few hundred people." According to video evidence and the Columbus police, there were between 8,000-10,000.
Yeah, we're all fake. Our anger is "manufactured." How could I forget that we're all just extremists who need to be watched by Homeland Security. How dare we call people who lie liars. How dare we express our opinions. How dare we not hand over our own minds and just let the almighty and omniscient government tells us how to live our lives.
(end rant)
Okay, I'm really going to try to write something more trivial and goofy for my next blog. But it's kind of like being on the front-lines of a battle and taking time out from shooting back to chat baseball. I know - I can expand on my theory about how talking about potty training is the female equivalent of fantasy football for men. That should be stress-free and enjoyable for all.
Showing posts with label health care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health care. Show all posts
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I Got Yer Teaching Moment Right Here
There's just so much flotsam floating around on the surface of my brain this morning....so here's a bit of it in random form....
1. The president spoke without knowing the facts on the Cambridge police incident and today is going to have a beer with the officer and the hatemongering, radical leftist professor who was arrested for disorderly conduct in what is being condescendingly spun as a "teaching" moment. So basically the officer, who by all accounts other than the president and other radical police-hating types (and the I'm-a-victim crowd) acted correctly, is going to be lectured to about why he was wrong. If I were Officer Crowley I would have politely declined this offer. Well...actually I probably would have taken the opportunity to make a public statement like "Sorry, I don't drink beer with sniveling Marxists who seek to gain unlimited control over the lives of Americans by lowering the nation to the level of all other nations because he believes it's not "fair" for us to succeed, not to mention rushing to shove Orwellian health care legislation down the throats of Americans who do not want the government making their health care decisions or limiting their treatment options or deciding who dies and who can live or who gets born or who gets aborted or selling out the futures of every young person in this country with more spending than any president in US history."
2. If you haven't taken a close look at this health care legislation - you really need to. And if you support it, then please wake up and realize this is not going to be good for anyone. Rationing of treatment. Having to wait months just to see a doctor. Having a bureaucrat decide whether or not you are worthy of a particular treatment. It is essentially legalized genocide of the elderly, disabled, and terminally ill. Unless, of course, you happen to be in Congress or the President -- because the new health care laws won't apply to them. Sure -- "you can keep your plan" -- that is until your policy changes or your premium changes or you change jobs -- then (unless they have since removed this sneaky, underhanded, control-freak provision) there's a little section of the bill that requires you to be put on a government approved plan. It's a little like telling the public they can still eat beef - no one's going to make a law saying they can't -- but then requiring all the cattle farmers to only use their animals for milk. It's designed so that the government can "say" that they're not going to eliminate private insurance, while at the same time all but assuring that private insurance will be eliminated. Then EVERYONE (except Congress and the president) will be on the government health care plan and the government will have incredible control and power over every single person's life.
3. Moving on....I'd recommend avoiding skin cancer if you can. Even the non-surgical methods of treatment are not that fun.
4. I'd also just like to say that John Mayer is a menace to humanity and must be destroyed.
Liking John Mayer = liking reality tv = liking MTV = liking government run health care = liking socialism = liking eating the contents of dirty diapers = DMB fans = thinking guys who sing with nasal-high-pitched-whiny voices and/or fake pronounced breaths during singing (a la Mayer, Jonas Bros, and the Family Guy example of a douchebag with guitar singing the song about Water under a tree to a group of girls) are amazing = being an idiot = needing to be ____.
Also, the band Phish and anyone associated with Rolling Stone magazine get _____ as well.
Bill Hicks quote and blank sections have been edited by the political correctness police.
5. I aced my summer class. Hurray for me. And I did it with cancer. See -- having cancer does make you better at things.
6. Apparently there is a nation-wide severe tomato blight going around this year. So perhaps my tomato growing struggles are not just my own. The birds still refuse to eat the hornworms that I offer them.
7. Football is almost here! The long miserable off-season is nearly over. Consider this: 4 months from now the football seasons will be winding down. But 4 months AGO - it had already been several months since we last had football in our lives! Meanwhile the NBA and NHL are allowed to drag on 9 months out of the year with their wretched sports. It's a crime against humanity! Almost as bad as Marxists running our country and trying to turn it into a socialist utopia - where there is no middle class, those who work hard, succeed, and earn money are punished and have their wealth redistributed, and small businesses are starved into extinction. But football is almost here...there is hope for both my Canes and Bears...
8. The weather this past month has been absolutely wonderful! I cannot remember a July this temperate (77-85 mostly). Plus we haven't had our usual drought. It's been quite lovely, I say, quite lovely...
Alright, that's all for now. Tune in next week when I insult the lawnmower and then invite it into the garage to lecture it on why it should feel bad and apologize to me.
1. The president spoke without knowing the facts on the Cambridge police incident and today is going to have a beer with the officer and the hatemongering, radical leftist professor who was arrested for disorderly conduct in what is being condescendingly spun as a "teaching" moment. So basically the officer, who by all accounts other than the president and other radical police-hating types (and the I'm-a-victim crowd) acted correctly, is going to be lectured to about why he was wrong. If I were Officer Crowley I would have politely declined this offer. Well...actually I probably would have taken the opportunity to make a public statement like "Sorry, I don't drink beer with sniveling Marxists who seek to gain unlimited control over the lives of Americans by lowering the nation to the level of all other nations because he believes it's not "fair" for us to succeed, not to mention rushing to shove Orwellian health care legislation down the throats of Americans who do not want the government making their health care decisions or limiting their treatment options or deciding who dies and who can live or who gets born or who gets aborted or selling out the futures of every young person in this country with more spending than any president in US history."
2. If you haven't taken a close look at this health care legislation - you really need to. And if you support it, then please wake up and realize this is not going to be good for anyone. Rationing of treatment. Having to wait months just to see a doctor. Having a bureaucrat decide whether or not you are worthy of a particular treatment. It is essentially legalized genocide of the elderly, disabled, and terminally ill. Unless, of course, you happen to be in Congress or the President -- because the new health care laws won't apply to them. Sure -- "you can keep your plan" -- that is until your policy changes or your premium changes or you change jobs -- then (unless they have since removed this sneaky, underhanded, control-freak provision) there's a little section of the bill that requires you to be put on a government approved plan. It's a little like telling the public they can still eat beef - no one's going to make a law saying they can't -- but then requiring all the cattle farmers to only use their animals for milk. It's designed so that the government can "say" that they're not going to eliminate private insurance, while at the same time all but assuring that private insurance will be eliminated. Then EVERYONE (except Congress and the president) will be on the government health care plan and the government will have incredible control and power over every single person's life.
3. Moving on....I'd recommend avoiding skin cancer if you can. Even the non-surgical methods of treatment are not that fun.
4. I'd also just like to say that John Mayer is a menace to humanity and must be destroyed.
Liking John Mayer = liking reality tv = liking MTV = liking government run health care = liking socialism = liking eating the contents of dirty diapers = DMB fans = thinking guys who sing with nasal-high-pitched-whiny voices and/or fake pronounced breaths during singing (a la Mayer, Jonas Bros, and the Family Guy example of a douchebag with guitar singing the song about Water under a tree to a group of girls) are amazing = being an idiot = needing to be ____.
Also, the band Phish and anyone associated with Rolling Stone magazine get _____ as well.
Bill Hicks quote and blank sections have been edited by the political correctness police.
5. I aced my summer class. Hurray for me. And I did it with cancer. See -- having cancer does make you better at things.
6. Apparently there is a nation-wide severe tomato blight going around this year. So perhaps my tomato growing struggles are not just my own. The birds still refuse to eat the hornworms that I offer them.
7. Football is almost here! The long miserable off-season is nearly over. Consider this: 4 months from now the football seasons will be winding down. But 4 months AGO - it had already been several months since we last had football in our lives! Meanwhile the NBA and NHL are allowed to drag on 9 months out of the year with their wretched sports. It's a crime against humanity! Almost as bad as Marxists running our country and trying to turn it into a socialist utopia - where there is no middle class, those who work hard, succeed, and earn money are punished and have their wealth redistributed, and small businesses are starved into extinction. But football is almost here...there is hope for both my Canes and Bears...
8. The weather this past month has been absolutely wonderful! I cannot remember a July this temperate (77-85 mostly). Plus we haven't had our usual drought. It's been quite lovely, I say, quite lovely...
Alright, that's all for now. Tune in next week when I insult the lawnmower and then invite it into the garage to lecture it on why it should feel bad and apologize to me.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Always Look on the Bright Side of....Skin Cancer?
I just learned from my dermatologist's office that the little spot above my eye is/was indeed a small cancer. I should be fine - if there's a good kind of cancer to get, this sounds about like it. I have to put some special cancer-fighting ointment on it and go back to the doctor in a few months.
I can't help but wonder if I would be allowed to get that special ointment under the nationalized health care. Did you know that in Great Britain they have a board (the acronym is NICE) which essentially serves as a rationing board. They determine which medicines, treatments, etc can or can't be used and the best course of treatment in individual cases. Remember, the biggest insanity of the nationalized/universal/obama-care health plan is that it will no longer be up to you and your doctor to make decisions regarding your health and your treatment -- it will be bureaucrats.
Something else I feel I have to beat into everyone's heads: Just because a politician (or Supreme Court nominee) says something does NOT mean it is a) true, b) how they really feel, or c) what they really plan to do. In fact, it's usually the opposite. Look at their actions, their initiatives, their stances -- and use your brain to piece together for yourself what this person is all about. Right now there is a power grab underway - and one of the key factors is the general public's lack of attention span and incredible tendency to be distracted.
The obama-care plan has a rationing board, too. Their acronym is ICE.
Oh, and uh, the president and Congress? The universal health care plan does not apply to them. Just us. The little people. After all, we're not smart enough or enlightened enough to decide things for ourselves. And a bunch of us "cling" to our "guns and religion." We need a big government there to take care of us and watch us and think for us and decide when we die and if we can even be born.
Ah, but where was I? Oh yes....cancer. I have cancer. And I'm looking on the bright side of it. Here's a few of the good things that now come with my diagnosis:
1. Cancer jokes! It's like when Jerry Seinfeld's dentist converted to Judaism and began making Jewish jokes.
2. Attention and sympathy from friends, professors, and pretty nurses. (I don't care how small or non-life-threatening the cancer is -- if I have to deal with a cancer in my body, by golly, I have the right to make the most of it!)
3. Nike endorsement deals and commercials of me riding a bike while chugging Gatorade and pitching no-hitters in my Under-Armour in between hardcore workouts and winning all those Relay-For-Life races.
4. From now on, I have a new rock-solid comeback to anything: "Yeah well, I had cancer!"
5. No more getting teased for putting on sunblock before and during every round of golf.
6. Instantly a large portion of my favorite movie lines now can be slightly altered to include cancer as the subject and thus gain new significance: "They may take tiny portions of our skin - but they'll never take - our - FREEDOM!"
I'm sure there's more, but I get the feeling I'm bordering on In-Bad-Taste-Land here....Wait a minute, I'm the one with cancer! You can't criticize me! I can do whatever I want!
(it's really annoying having such a powerful and immensely large internal critic that you automatically "hear" friends' criticizing you before you do something...it's probably why writing is such a struggle at times....)
I can't help but wonder if I would be allowed to get that special ointment under the nationalized health care. Did you know that in Great Britain they have a board (the acronym is NICE) which essentially serves as a rationing board. They determine which medicines, treatments, etc can or can't be used and the best course of treatment in individual cases. Remember, the biggest insanity of the nationalized/universal/obama-care health plan is that it will no longer be up to you and your doctor to make decisions regarding your health and your treatment -- it will be bureaucrats.
Something else I feel I have to beat into everyone's heads: Just because a politician (or Supreme Court nominee) says something does NOT mean it is a) true, b) how they really feel, or c) what they really plan to do. In fact, it's usually the opposite. Look at their actions, their initiatives, their stances -- and use your brain to piece together for yourself what this person is all about. Right now there is a power grab underway - and one of the key factors is the general public's lack of attention span and incredible tendency to be distracted.
The obama-care plan has a rationing board, too. Their acronym is ICE.
Oh, and uh, the president and Congress? The universal health care plan does not apply to them. Just us. The little people. After all, we're not smart enough or enlightened enough to decide things for ourselves. And a bunch of us "cling" to our "guns and religion." We need a big government there to take care of us and watch us and think for us and decide when we die and if we can even be born.
Ah, but where was I? Oh yes....cancer. I have cancer. And I'm looking on the bright side of it. Here's a few of the good things that now come with my diagnosis:
1. Cancer jokes! It's like when Jerry Seinfeld's dentist converted to Judaism and began making Jewish jokes.
2. Attention and sympathy from friends, professors, and pretty nurses. (I don't care how small or non-life-threatening the cancer is -- if I have to deal with a cancer in my body, by golly, I have the right to make the most of it!)
3. Nike endorsement deals and commercials of me riding a bike while chugging Gatorade and pitching no-hitters in my Under-Armour in between hardcore workouts and winning all those Relay-For-Life races.
4. From now on, I have a new rock-solid comeback to anything: "Yeah well, I had cancer!"
5. No more getting teased for putting on sunblock before and during every round of golf.
6. Instantly a large portion of my favorite movie lines now can be slightly altered to include cancer as the subject and thus gain new significance: "They may take tiny portions of our skin - but they'll never take - our - FREEDOM!"
I'm sure there's more, but I get the feeling I'm bordering on In-Bad-Taste-Land here....Wait a minute, I'm the one with cancer! You can't criticize me! I can do whatever I want!
(it's really annoying having such a powerful and immensely large internal critic that you automatically "hear" friends' criticizing you before you do something...it's probably why writing is such a struggle at times....)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
If someone else wrote this, you'd be laughing right now
Hey, let's just call it a year already.
This has been the windiest 4 months in western KY I've ever experienced. I want to see WPSD mentioning this and acknowledging that it has been unusually windy. And I don't want to hear any reference made to global warming. This is far greater than any overly-politicized issues --- this is nature straight up laughing at me. Nature knows I don't care for windy days (a breeze is nice, but gusty winds - especially on a cold and/or rainy day are just misery-inducing). Nature is being extra-extra-windy around here, but in such a way so that nobody except myself seems to notice. THAT's how insidious nature is!
How about that swine flu? Having just read most of Stephen King's "The Stand" in the last year, the flu coverage keeps filling my head with thoughts of 99.9% of the earth's population dying out and the rest having one last good vs evil battle royale.
Then we have the back-up Air Force One making unannounced photo-op flyovers of Manhattan. So much idiocy and only so little attention span within which to point out said idiocy. Why do we need to have this photo-op in the first place? Are these pictures going to have real live aliens in the foreground? Then are we going to sell the pictures to magazines across the globe and use the profits to pay off 1/29874000182363927256481238dkwudsjk02387377y29dfjer7uj77829th of all the massive debt we've racked up in the last 3 months? Hey - you know what? My cash flow is pretty bad right now (in fact, - seriously folks - I need a job post-haste), I think I'm gonna take a page from our government's playbook and just start crippling myself with massive credit card debt and loans from shady guys in bad suits down at the docks. Eventually my debt will be so large that I'll have no choice but to indefinitely keep pouring more of my income into paying off that debt (rather than keeping my hard-earned future income and spending it as I see fit -- but what do I know, it's probably better if I just let someone else decide these matters for me. Maybe someone at a central planning office can tell me what to do with my money...and maybe make my healthcare decisions for me...and tell me what to wear and what to say and what to think...life would be so much better that way...we could all get along and be happy and all the mean people in the world would start being nice....). Yep. No better way to jump-start one's financial situation than to burden oneself with massive, crippling, worry-about-it-next-year debt.
Oh, I mentioned healthcare....here's a tip: if things keep going the way they're about to be going -- buy some medical textbooks and as many medical supplies as you can get your hands on and practice on your friends and relatives. Because soon you'll be treating yourself. Or just hope you don't get sick. OR....be like the Buddhists and the Jedi and learn to "let go" of all that you fear to lose - including your health and/or life. Wouldn't that be awesome? To just live without being so afraid of death... To calmly accept that at any given time you might be leaving this life... And to not be upset in the least...
Yes, nature is an insidious and devious entity - a tormentor and a charmer - a lover and a fighter. One day she's making you shake your fists in frustration as winds blow 40 degree rain into your face and your tax returns across a flooded parking lot. The next she sparkles you with one of those life-affirming spring evenings when the sky is majestic and the trees are proud and green and deer look up from their secret distillery in the woods as you walk by, oblivious with your smiling face lost in the grandeur of one of life's rare, but sweet moments.
What really matters in life? Spending 8-14 hours a day at a job? Or being at home and around the ones you love, doing the things that interest you, appreciating the little things in this world - like the way skunks pay very little attention to humans when they're rooting around in the grass for whatever it is that skunks eat? Ah geez...here I go again...I'm about to segue into my rant about the insanity of the modern working world (or as the guys at school know this rant as: "Mindless, hopeless, soulless, life-sucking.....") with all it's obsessing over image and protocols and procedures and policies and regulations and formatting and gladhanding and preening and talking in circles and talking and saying nothing at all (like politicians, the poor soulless wretches). But I should stop myself here because all of you either a) don't care, b) don't get what I'm saying and just think I'm raving about something silly and that I'm thus wrong for raving about it, c) have been so succumbed by society that you are unable to see my point, or d) don't get that while I'm trying to make a point and express my strange view of the world, I'm also trying to amuse and entertain in some fashion.
And yet there's something about my delivery that differs from others who make similar comments/observations. Something that makes people laugh hysterically at others and just shake their heads at and dismiss me. And that makes me angry. Angry and petulant. Love that word. Petulant. It just leaps off the lips.
You know what's fun? Being an English major in engineering school and throwing your massive verbal intellect around with all the guys who love calculus and see the world in x-y graphs. A bird flies by -- I see a bird and think of ways to describe it, wonder where it's heading, give it a personality, name it Phil.... They see points on an x-y plane with a curve depicting the flight-path of the "object" as it moves in the x-direction. And throw in some sine and cosine mumbo-jumbo and some coulombs and derivatives and exponential letter "e's" and hyperbolic functions and partial derivatives and other made up crap for good measure. It's a BIRD!!!!!
We're all running out of time. Our bodies are oxidizing every day that we live, asteroids are conspiring to wipe us out, terrorists (oh wait....we don't call them that anymore - I FORGOT - how insensitive of me!) are eager to cause their "man-made disasters," (idiocy...just idiocy) influenza mutates and contorts itself into new and improved versions each year, the world's climate is warming...no wait, now it's cooling....no, it's warming...no, cooling...now it's just "chill-axing," artificial sweeteners, swimming in the ocean, breathing air, red meat, being married, being alone, tacos, long walks in the park, semicolons, and Jack Black movies all cause cancer and will kill you; Yellowstone Park is actually a giant underground volcano and will explode and wipe us all off of our couches and back to Fred Flintstone's happy stone-age family; earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, the Cloverfield monster, mass hysteria and hero-worship; and let's not forget nuclear armed countries that could very well fall under the rule of radical muslim extremist terrorists (what was the PC term that the government insists on using now? I forgot...) literally any day now. Basically there are - always have been - and always will be things that are either killing us or are actively trying to kill us (especially those dastardly asteroids....out there in space, plotting...scheming). We're always running out of time to live...to make the most of what we're given. So - RUN! Run outside and frolic with your loved ones and your pets and your car and your favorite plant! Do the things that mattter! Don't save it up for the day that comes conveniently AFTER the asteroids hit and the term-the-government-no-longer-uses-to-describe-terrorists 's attack and the socialized health care physician tells you you have 5 different types of cancer - after you wait in line for 49 business days and bribe the right folks at central planning. Get out there and spend your life wisely. Don't be like Donovan at the end of The Last Crusade and choose "poorly." Because then your body will instantaneously (and horrifically - especially if you're 9 years old and watching it happen to someone else) rot and turn to dust as your lovely (albeit traitorous) Austrian cohort shrieks in terror.
It just occured to me that this blog is almost coming across like it's the last one I'll ever write. What with the urging people to live life thing. Hopefully by pointing this out I will reverse whatever trick fate had up its sleeve.
So, let's just call it a night then. I'm sure there's a House or Family Guy on somewhere I should be watching.
This has been the windiest 4 months in western KY I've ever experienced. I want to see WPSD mentioning this and acknowledging that it has been unusually windy. And I don't want to hear any reference made to global warming. This is far greater than any overly-politicized issues --- this is nature straight up laughing at me. Nature knows I don't care for windy days (a breeze is nice, but gusty winds - especially on a cold and/or rainy day are just misery-inducing). Nature is being extra-extra-windy around here, but in such a way so that nobody except myself seems to notice. THAT's how insidious nature is!
How about that swine flu? Having just read most of Stephen King's "The Stand" in the last year, the flu coverage keeps filling my head with thoughts of 99.9% of the earth's population dying out and the rest having one last good vs evil battle royale.
Then we have the back-up Air Force One making unannounced photo-op flyovers of Manhattan. So much idiocy and only so little attention span within which to point out said idiocy. Why do we need to have this photo-op in the first place? Are these pictures going to have real live aliens in the foreground? Then are we going to sell the pictures to magazines across the globe and use the profits to pay off 1/29874000182363927256481238dkwudsjk02387377y29dfjer7uj77829th of all the massive debt we've racked up in the last 3 months? Hey - you know what? My cash flow is pretty bad right now (in fact, - seriously folks - I need a job post-haste), I think I'm gonna take a page from our government's playbook and just start crippling myself with massive credit card debt and loans from shady guys in bad suits down at the docks. Eventually my debt will be so large that I'll have no choice but to indefinitely keep pouring more of my income into paying off that debt (rather than keeping my hard-earned future income and spending it as I see fit -- but what do I know, it's probably better if I just let someone else decide these matters for me. Maybe someone at a central planning office can tell me what to do with my money...and maybe make my healthcare decisions for me...and tell me what to wear and what to say and what to think...life would be so much better that way...we could all get along and be happy and all the mean people in the world would start being nice....). Yep. No better way to jump-start one's financial situation than to burden oneself with massive, crippling, worry-about-it-next-year debt.
Oh, I mentioned healthcare....here's a tip: if things keep going the way they're about to be going -- buy some medical textbooks and as many medical supplies as you can get your hands on and practice on your friends and relatives. Because soon you'll be treating yourself. Or just hope you don't get sick. OR....be like the Buddhists and the Jedi and learn to "let go" of all that you fear to lose - including your health and/or life. Wouldn't that be awesome? To just live without being so afraid of death... To calmly accept that at any given time you might be leaving this life... And to not be upset in the least...
Yes, nature is an insidious and devious entity - a tormentor and a charmer - a lover and a fighter. One day she's making you shake your fists in frustration as winds blow 40 degree rain into your face and your tax returns across a flooded parking lot. The next she sparkles you with one of those life-affirming spring evenings when the sky is majestic and the trees are proud and green and deer look up from their secret distillery in the woods as you walk by, oblivious with your smiling face lost in the grandeur of one of life's rare, but sweet moments.
What really matters in life? Spending 8-14 hours a day at a job? Or being at home and around the ones you love, doing the things that interest you, appreciating the little things in this world - like the way skunks pay very little attention to humans when they're rooting around in the grass for whatever it is that skunks eat? Ah geez...here I go again...I'm about to segue into my rant about the insanity of the modern working world (or as the guys at school know this rant as: "Mindless, hopeless, soulless, life-sucking.....") with all it's obsessing over image and protocols and procedures and policies and regulations and formatting and gladhanding and preening and talking in circles and talking and saying nothing at all (like politicians, the poor soulless wretches). But I should stop myself here because all of you either a) don't care, b) don't get what I'm saying and just think I'm raving about something silly and that I'm thus wrong for raving about it, c) have been so succumbed by society that you are unable to see my point, or d) don't get that while I'm trying to make a point and express my strange view of the world, I'm also trying to amuse and entertain in some fashion.
And yet there's something about my delivery that differs from others who make similar comments/observations. Something that makes people laugh hysterically at others and just shake their heads at and dismiss me. And that makes me angry. Angry and petulant. Love that word. Petulant. It just leaps off the lips.
You know what's fun? Being an English major in engineering school and throwing your massive verbal intellect around with all the guys who love calculus and see the world in x-y graphs. A bird flies by -- I see a bird and think of ways to describe it, wonder where it's heading, give it a personality, name it Phil.... They see points on an x-y plane with a curve depicting the flight-path of the "object" as it moves in the x-direction. And throw in some sine and cosine mumbo-jumbo and some coulombs and derivatives and exponential letter "e's" and hyperbolic functions and partial derivatives and other made up crap for good measure. It's a BIRD!!!!!
We're all running out of time. Our bodies are oxidizing every day that we live, asteroids are conspiring to wipe us out, terrorists (oh wait....we don't call them that anymore - I FORGOT - how insensitive of me!) are eager to cause their "man-made disasters," (idiocy...just idiocy) influenza mutates and contorts itself into new and improved versions each year, the world's climate is warming...no wait, now it's cooling....no, it's warming...no, cooling...now it's just "chill-axing," artificial sweeteners, swimming in the ocean, breathing air, red meat, being married, being alone, tacos, long walks in the park, semicolons, and Jack Black movies all cause cancer and will kill you; Yellowstone Park is actually a giant underground volcano and will explode and wipe us all off of our couches and back to Fred Flintstone's happy stone-age family; earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, the Cloverfield monster, mass hysteria and hero-worship; and let's not forget nuclear armed countries that could very well fall under the rule of radical muslim extremist terrorists (what was the PC term that the government insists on using now? I forgot...) literally any day now. Basically there are - always have been - and always will be things that are either killing us or are actively trying to kill us (especially those dastardly asteroids....out there in space, plotting...scheming). We're always running out of time to live...to make the most of what we're given. So - RUN! Run outside and frolic with your loved ones and your pets and your car and your favorite plant! Do the things that mattter! Don't save it up for the day that comes conveniently AFTER the asteroids hit and the term-the-government-no-longer-uses-to-describe-terrorists 's attack and the socialized health care physician tells you you have 5 different types of cancer - after you wait in line for 49 business days and bribe the right folks at central planning. Get out there and spend your life wisely. Don't be like Donovan at the end of The Last Crusade and choose "poorly." Because then your body will instantaneously (and horrifically - especially if you're 9 years old and watching it happen to someone else) rot and turn to dust as your lovely (albeit traitorous) Austrian cohort shrieks in terror.
It just occured to me that this blog is almost coming across like it's the last one I'll ever write. What with the urging people to live life thing. Hopefully by pointing this out I will reverse whatever trick fate had up its sleeve.
So, let's just call it a night then. I'm sure there's a House or Family Guy on somewhere I should be watching.
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