Stormy Night

It's always a little concerning when the weatherman says that their radar indicates a tornado is headed for your relatively exact location and even waves his hand over the spot on the map where your house is situated. In the wee hours of this morning, the weatherman did just not....and then the weatherlady who took over 20 minutes later did the same thing. Just when you think you've dodged the first tornado bullet (feeling the house shudder under the winds as in all likelihood a funnel cloud passes right over your head), the next Doplar-indicated-tornado makes an abrupt right-hand turn and heads directly for you. Twice I found myself wondering if the house was about to be ripped apart around me. Should I have gone down into the basement? Should I have put my contacts back in? I mean, who wants to get tossed around by a tornado wearing glasses? Shoes too? And maybe change shirts...don't wanna be found the next morning lodged in the base of a tree wearing an old baggy shirt that's a little too big to be wearing in public. Maybe shave too....

But thankfully we escaped the danger. Consequently i didn't get nearly enough sleep last night and shall be taking it out on the world around me. You've all been warned.

So do my dear readers know that a car bomb was found in Times Square last night? Shouldn't this be breaking news on all the news outlets? Even the state-run and state-puppeted media should be all over this.

Do my dear readers know about the Senate's latest socialist plans to institute National ID cards? At this point I shouldn't even have to be pleading with you all to wake up and face this evil head on...it should be apparent. But then, maybe the spell is still too strong...

Do my dear readers know that Soundgarden got back together and is touring??? Yes, Soundgarden!

Do my dear readers know that if I ruled the world one of the first things to go would be all Progressive insurance commercials with that wretched Flo? I HATE that company purely because of their idiotic, mindless, hopeless, insultingly annoying commercials. Not to mention their name....

While we're at it - no more "male enhancement" or Viagra/Cialis commercials. (I think i've said that before) My dad watches a lot of golf....I swear every single commercial break during golf tournaments has at least one Viagra/Cialis commercial -- "because any time could turn into the right time."

Our society has become so soft over the last few generations. That's our problem. Think back to our grandparents and the generations before them. Those were tough, responsible, rugged individuals. Now we're all a bunch of whiny, selfish, weaklings. That's why we have the culture war that we have now. Those who still hold onto values of strength, personal accountability, doing it yourself, doing the right thing, pursuing one's own success and reaping the rewards - vs - Those who want someone else to do it, who only care about their own instant gratification, who avoid hard work at all costs, who want the government to take care of them, tv to raise their kids, for successful people to be punished and forced to share the fruits of their labor out of a twisted sense of "fairness."

Maybe it all starts with the kids. Generations ago kids were brought up to be obedient and work hard. Today they're pandered to and giving everything they could want and far more than they deserve. Entitlement. A nasty thing whether given directly by the government or through behavior from parent to child.

Well, until next time, dear readers...stay out of trouble, stay out of the path of tornadoes, and don't allow the government to control you.

Ah, Spring...

The season of new hope, new life, new love, new possibilities. And pollen and scratchy throats and eyes and the heart of the football off-season when September seems so far away and the wretched NBA season drags on mercilessly with its insipid Sportscenter highlights. Good thing there's spring football, the NFL draft, and lots of amazing spring-time beers to get us through!

The following beers are current must-trys: (in no particular order)
1. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (a classic standby that I just happen to be really enjoying lately)
2. Sierra Nevada Glissade (a golden bock that goes down smooth but has some substance to it)
3. Sam Adam's Noble Pils (delightfully refreshing and dangerously easy to drink)
4. Harpoon Irish Red (one of the better seasonal Irish Red's I've had in a while)
5. Schlafly's Pale Ale (fast becoming one of my favorite breweries - everything they produce is pure gold!)

Meanwhile, the dismantling of the Republic continues....the despicable health care bill...next on the target list - the banking system and the value added tax. Yeah, more taxes on businesses will surely help the economy. Oh, but I keep forgetting - profits are WRONG and business people are by nature evil and should be ashamed of their wealth (I'm being sarcastic...others are not).

I haven't seen any movies since the holidays, so don't even ask for my thoughts on any recent releases. But just like in years past, the January-March period brings about this bizarre and insanity-inducing massive advertising blitz on every channel, every commercial break for weeks leading up to each release. You may recall last year certain movies' ads became stuck in my head because I would be pummeled with them nonstop. And they're always terrible movies. 12 Rounds with John Cena. Remember that gem? "I'm gonna hunt you down and I'm gonna kill you!" See! The stupid lines are STILL stuck in my head from seeing the commercial literally every 15 minutes each night for 2-3 weeks!

Okay, so a short blog every month is better than no blogs for multiple months, right? Take care until next time, dear readers. And don't let life lull you to sleep...you might miss it.

Awards, Hype, Corporations, and Interstellar Zoos

Because it was suggested, I'm going to try to squeeze out a short blog this morning.

So our supreme leader has been given the Nobel Peace Prize? This is another farce in this train-wreck of a presidency -- but considering some of the past winners (and the state of society in general), I probably shouldn't be surprised at all. From my understanding the nominations were due by February 1st....show he managed to perform such wondrous works of peace-making prior to that date.

I really don't think there are many people in this world today deserving of a Peace award. Certainly not any political leaders. In fact, I think politicians should be excluded from the award completely. Maybe if there are still some Mother Theresas out there -- give it to them.

I'm ready for the aliens to come and "wipe this place clean" (to quote Trent Reznor's Nine Inch Nails song "The Warning"), just as long as they accept my volunteering to be in the human exhibit of the Interstellar Zoo. And I humbly request either Kate Beckinsale or Adriana Lima to share my cage with.

Hey - did anybody else catch that stuff about school-kids being made to sing pro-obama songs recently? Obviously, you wouldn't have heard about it on in the mainstream media. It was pretty sickening stuff.

Lots of new music came out last month: Muse's "The Resistance" (amazing album -- and lyrically works as a soundtrack for those of us opposed to socialism and the movement to a one-world government), Pearl Jam's "Backspacer" (in case you missed it I was quite upset that they made an exclusive deal with Target and thus it was not available in a physical form here in our area where there are no Targets....in fact, let's get off track a little...Pearl Jam, being the liberals that they are, have always been very anti-corporation and about wanting the fans to hear their music without having to pay a lot of money. They always have done a good job of keeping concert ticket prices reasonable. But in this case, they completely and epically failed. Apparently all corporations are evil....except Target. But in so limiting the distribution of their album, people like me did not have access to it. True, it was available on ITunes, but some of us prefer having a tangible CD in our hands -- plus the CD has a higher sound quality. So, the band ended up limiting access to the music. Plus we all had to pay MORE than normal to get it. Best Buy is typically the cheapest place to get new CDs. Target is always more expensive. And if you do not have a Target within driving distance, you would have to either order from one online (thus incurring shipping costs) or from Pearl Jam's own website (at a higher price and again with shipping costs...it would cost about $20 actually). I would hope that after all this they would realize that not all corporations are evil and that most actually provide a service to people. By being gigantic distributors of products, these corporations make goods available to the masses at affordable prices. Does the corporate world itself suck? Yes, of course. Do I long to see mission statements, stuffy boardroom meetings, policies, procedures, HR departments, resumes, phoney handshakes, and the other rigid formalities of that world fall not just by the wayside but completely off the map and into the abyss? DEFINITELY YES PLEASE LORD MAKE IT SO!!!! But despite the detestability of the corporate world, I'm glad to have Wal-Marts and Best Buys around so I can buy the things I want/need and not have to spend more than I think I should have to.

Well, that was fun. Back to engineering stuff for me....

America is starting to awake

Good morning, America. While you were asleep all these months, socialists made a power-grab. Get that coffee down and continue voicing your disgust with this health care nightmare plan they have. You don't want a government agency deciding which medical treatments you can have? Me neither. You don't like the idea of such a government body letting the sick and elderly die because it costs too much to treat them? You think that sounds a bit too much like legalized genocide? Yeah, me too. You think it's good that you can decide if and when you go to the doctor and generally get an appointment fairly soon? Yes, that is pretty nice. You mean you don't want to have to wait months or years and have the doctor you visit determined by the government? And you think it's wrong for the government to be able to access your bank account? What does that even have to do with health care? Why would that even be in the health care bill? And how come they feel this need to rush an extremely drastic and apparently UNREAD piece of legislation that affects every single aspect of our lives down our throats? Perhaps because America is not as stupid as they thought. (Or as we thought.) As outraged Americans tell members of Congress how they feel about their "plans," these "public servants" look down at us, say that we're all fakes, plants, "manufactured." The sad thing is, these career politicians with their superior attitudes will likely continue to ignore us, dismiss us, and see us as nothing more than gnats. Finally - FINALLY - other Americans other than myself seem to be awakening to the fake way that most politicians speak! That lawyer-esque, salesman, wishy-washy, dance-around-the-truth-by-saying-nothing-at-all disgusting soulless politician-speak! Keep the coffee coming, America. Keep fighting.


(a side note:)
For my liberal friends who may be thinking of answering the White House's call and reporting me to them for "spreading disinformation" regarding health care.....I ask how you would have felt had the Bush administration asked Americans to report on other Americans who were "spreading disinformation" about the Iraq War? I have heard that this could actually be illegal, as in the government cannot gather information on private citizens who are practicing their right to free speech. But if the White House wants to know who is spreading disinformation -- shouldn't they be reporting themselves and the DNC?

This is not a game. This isn't like going out to eat and trying something new and just seeing how it tastes. This isn't just a fun debate where one side wins and gets to go have a pizza party and be patted on the head by their professor.

Wake up, everybody!

If you don't think the mainstream media is completely in the tank for one side - consider this: recently there was a Tea Party rally in Columbus, Ohio. The MSM largely failed to even mention it - and when it was, it was passed off as "a few hundred people." According to video evidence and the Columbus police, there were between 8,000-10,000.

Yeah, we're all fake. Our anger is "manufactured." How could I forget that we're all just extremists who need to be watched by Homeland Security. How dare we call people who lie liars. How dare we express our opinions. How dare we not hand over our own minds and just let the almighty and omniscient government tells us how to live our lives.

(end rant)

Okay, I'm really going to try to write something more trivial and goofy for my next blog. But it's kind of like being on the front-lines of a battle and taking time out from shooting back to chat baseball. I know - I can expand on my theory about how talking about potty training is the female equivalent of fantasy football for men. That should be stress-free and enjoyable for all.

I Got Yer Teaching Moment Right Here

There's just so much flotsam floating around on the surface of my brain this morning....so here's a bit of it in random form....

1. The president spoke without knowing the facts on the Cambridge police incident and today is going to have a beer with the officer and the hatemongering, radical leftist professor who was arrested for disorderly conduct in what is being condescendingly spun as a "teaching" moment. So basically the officer, who by all accounts other than the president and other radical police-hating types (and the I'm-a-victim crowd) acted correctly, is going to be lectured to about why he was wrong. If I were Officer Crowley I would have politely declined this offer. Well...actually I probably would have taken the opportunity to make a public statement like "Sorry, I don't drink beer with sniveling Marxists who seek to gain unlimited control over the lives of Americans by lowering the nation to the level of all other nations because he believes it's not "fair" for us to succeed, not to mention rushing to shove Orwellian health care legislation down the throats of Americans who do not want the government making their health care decisions or limiting their treatment options or deciding who dies and who can live or who gets born or who gets aborted or selling out the futures of every young person in this country with more spending than any president in US history."

2. If you haven't taken a close look at this health care legislation - you really need to. And if you support it, then please wake up and realize this is not going to be good for anyone. Rationing of treatment. Having to wait months just to see a doctor. Having a bureaucrat decide whether or not you are worthy of a particular treatment. It is essentially legalized genocide of the elderly, disabled, and terminally ill. Unless, of course, you happen to be in Congress or the President -- because the new health care laws won't apply to them. Sure -- "you can keep your plan" -- that is until your policy changes or your premium changes or you change jobs -- then (unless they have since removed this sneaky, underhanded, control-freak provision) there's a little section of the bill that requires you to be put on a government approved plan. It's a little like telling the public they can still eat beef - no one's going to make a law saying they can't -- but then requiring all the cattle farmers to only use their animals for milk. It's designed so that the government can "say" that they're not going to eliminate private insurance, while at the same time all but assuring that private insurance will be eliminated. Then EVERYONE (except Congress and the president) will be on the government health care plan and the government will have incredible control and power over every single person's life.

3. Moving on....I'd recommend avoiding skin cancer if you can. Even the non-surgical methods of treatment are not that fun.

4. I'd also just like to say that John Mayer is a menace to humanity and must be destroyed.

Liking John Mayer = liking reality tv = liking MTV = liking government run health care = liking socialism = liking eating the contents of dirty diapers = DMB fans = thinking guys who sing with nasal-high-pitched-whiny voices and/or fake pronounced breaths during singing (a la Mayer, Jonas Bros, and the Family Guy example of a douchebag with guitar singing the song about Water under a tree to a group of girls) are amazing = being an idiot = needing to be ____.

Also, the band Phish and anyone associated with Rolling Stone magazine get _____ as well.

Bill Hicks quote and blank sections have been edited by the political correctness police.

5. I aced my summer class. Hurray for me. And I did it with cancer. See -- having cancer does make you better at things.

6. Apparently there is a nation-wide severe tomato blight going around this year. So perhaps my tomato growing struggles are not just my own. The birds still refuse to eat the hornworms that I offer them.

7. Football is almost here! The long miserable off-season is nearly over. Consider this: 4 months from now the football seasons will be winding down. But 4 months AGO - it had already been several months since we last had football in our lives! Meanwhile the NBA and NHL are allowed to drag on 9 months out of the year with their wretched sports. It's a crime against humanity! Almost as bad as Marxists running our country and trying to turn it into a socialist utopia - where there is no middle class, those who work hard, succeed, and earn money are punished and have their wealth redistributed, and small businesses are starved into extinction. But football is almost here...there is hope for both my Canes and Bears...

8. The weather this past month has been absolutely wonderful! I cannot remember a July this temperate (77-85 mostly). Plus we haven't had our usual drought. It's been quite lovely, I say, quite lovely...

Alright, that's all for now. Tune in next week when I insult the lawnmower and then invite it into the garage to lecture it on why it should feel bad and apologize to me.