Always Look on the Bright Side of....Skin Cancer?

I just learned from my dermatologist's office that the little spot above my eye is/was indeed a small cancer. I should be fine - if there's a good kind of cancer to get, this sounds about like it. I have to put some special cancer-fighting ointment on it and go back to the doctor in a few months.

I can't help but wonder if I would be allowed to get that special ointment under the nationalized health care. Did you know that in Great Britain they have a board (the acronym is NICE) which essentially serves as a rationing board. They determine which medicines, treatments, etc can or can't be used and the best course of treatment in individual cases. Remember, the biggest insanity of the nationalized/universal/obama-care health plan is that it will no longer be up to you and your doctor to make decisions regarding your health and your treatment -- it will be bureaucrats.

Something else I feel I have to beat into everyone's heads: Just because a politician (or Supreme Court nominee) says something does NOT mean it is a) true, b) how they really feel, or c) what they really plan to do. In fact, it's usually the opposite. Look at their actions, their initiatives, their stances -- and use your brain to piece together for yourself what this person is all about. Right now there is a power grab underway - and one of the key factors is the general public's lack of attention span and incredible tendency to be distracted.

The obama-care plan has a rationing board, too. Their acronym is ICE.

Oh, and uh, the president and Congress? The universal health care plan does not apply to them. Just us. The little people. After all, we're not smart enough or enlightened enough to decide things for ourselves. And a bunch of us "cling" to our "guns and religion." We need a big government there to take care of us and watch us and think for us and decide when we die and if we can even be born.

Ah, but where was I? Oh yes....cancer. I have cancer. And I'm looking on the bright side of it. Here's a few of the good things that now come with my diagnosis:

1. Cancer jokes! It's like when Jerry Seinfeld's dentist converted to Judaism and began making Jewish jokes.
2. Attention and sympathy from friends, professors, and pretty nurses. (I don't care how small or non-life-threatening the cancer is -- if I have to deal with a cancer in my body, by golly, I have the right to make the most of it!)
3. Nike endorsement deals and commercials of me riding a bike while chugging Gatorade and pitching no-hitters in my Under-Armour in between hardcore workouts and winning all those Relay-For-Life races.
4. From now on, I have a new rock-solid comeback to anything: "Yeah well, I had cancer!"
5. No more getting teased for putting on sunblock before and during every round of golf.
6. Instantly a large portion of my favorite movie lines now can be slightly altered to include cancer as the subject and thus gain new significance: "They may take tiny portions of our skin - but they'll never take - our - FREEDOM!"

I'm sure there's more, but I get the feeling I'm bordering on In-Bad-Taste-Land here....Wait a minute, I'm the one with cancer! You can't criticize me! I can do whatever I want!

(it's really annoying having such a powerful and immensely large internal critic that you automatically "hear" friends' criticizing you before you do something...it's probably why writing is such a struggle at times....)