Movie Ads and Haircuts

Well, I got a haircut today. I didn't intend for her to cut much off - really, I just wanted things cleaned up a bit. I hadn't had a haircut in 7 months, so I wanted my hair to look "on-purpose shaggy" as opposed to "haven't had a haircut in 7 months shaggy." But it seems more was lost than I initially thought. I'm sure it'll be okay, though. Give it some time and the Joker hair shall return. But maybe it's best to wait until the Fall for that...

I'm hearing mixed reviews on The Watchmen. Apparently there are some "awkward" scenes in it. Of course, I was never all that hyped up about the film to begin with. When the frequency of a movie's commercials begin to rival those of CashForGold.com and Billy freakin' Mays, chances are the studio knows the movie is not that great and needs to be hyped. For instance, I've seen the previews for "Last House on the Left" about once every 8 minutes for the last 2-3 weeks. But it feels like I've literally been seeing the ads for 8 months. "You wanna hear what I did to your daughter?" "I wanna hear you beg for your life." And I wanna hear Hollywood get some new ideas.

I'll never forget about 9-10 years ago when the movie "Double Jeopardy" with Ashley Judd came out. It was absolutely ridiculous how often its ads were on tv. I felt like I was losing my mind for about a month. I was hearing the announcer's voice in my sleep say the words "Double Jeopardy" over and over. And I still have never seen the actual movie.

But I do know that Ashley Judd - like me - got a haircut in that movie.
Some other folks who got haircuts:
Demi Moore shaved her head in G.I. Jane
Brad Pitt went from spiked to buzzed in Fight Club
Sean Connery had his "grunge" hair style cleaned up in The Rock
Keanu Reeves went from bald to slightly-more-than-buzzed to regular-late-90s dude in The Matrix

What do all those movies have in common? Well, let's see... they all involve fighting, guns, death, and with the exception of Double Jeopardy - groups of people united to fight for a common cause. But I guess you could say that Ashley Judd and her lawyer were united to fight for the cause of getting her set free from prison for not killing her husband. But what does all this have to do with my haircut? Well - I didn't shave my head, so I'm not a woman trying to make her way through Navy SEAL training. I didn't go from a trendy, spiked up style to a buzzcut - nor do I conduct bare-knuckle brawls in basements - although, it is possible I could be a figment of my own imagination -- nevertheless, I'm not Brad Pitt. Also, I do not want to hear what you did to my daughter and I DO want to hear you beg for your life. I suppose I did go from a grunge/Joker look to a slightly tamer more suitable-for-public-viewing style...so maybe that means I'm Sean Connery. And what would Sean Connery do to the people who hurt his daughter and left her for dead in a lake? Well, after he finished systematically attacking and killing each of them until only the ringleader was left, he would be injured and the ringleader would appear to have the upper hand. Perhaps Connery's wife would be threatened at this point by the shirtless and scruffy looking ringleader who would again ask if anyone - anyone at all - would like to hear what he did to his daughter. Eventually Connery himself or mabye his injured daughter would kill the ringleader. The battered, bloodied, and emotionally exhausted Connery family would hug each other and then dispose of the bodies together. Maybe the local police would sympathetically look the other way or even assist in covering up the incident as the thugs who attacked the daughter had already been causing problems in the town. Then Sean would decide to grow his hair back out because he was always happier having it long and grungey. But then one day he'd go in for just a trim - just to clean things up a bit - and suddenly find himself set back a couple of months in his growing season. And then Sean, depressed by the loss of his hair, would gather up a band of scruffy cronies (and Giovanni Ribisci), go to a sleepy lake-side town, and begin attacking pretty young women and randomly showing up at the family's houses afterwards.

And then they'd make a movie out of it and show the preview 89 times a night.