Hey, let's just call it a year already.
This has been the windiest 4 months in western KY I've ever experienced. I want to see WPSD mentioning this and acknowledging that it has been unusually windy. And I don't want to hear any reference made to global warming. This is far greater than any overly-politicized issues --- this is nature straight up laughing at me. Nature knows I don't care for windy days (a breeze is nice, but gusty winds - especially on a cold and/or rainy day are just misery-inducing). Nature is being extra-extra-windy around here, but in such a way so that nobody except myself seems to notice. THAT's how insidious nature is!
How about that swine flu? Having just read most of Stephen King's "The Stand" in the last year, the flu coverage keeps filling my head with thoughts of 99.9% of the earth's population dying out and the rest having one last good vs evil battle royale.
Then we have the back-up Air Force One making unannounced photo-op flyovers of Manhattan. So much idiocy and only so little attention span within which to point out said idiocy. Why do we need to have this photo-op in the first place? Are these pictures going to have real live aliens in the foreground? Then are we going to sell the pictures to magazines across the globe and use the profits to pay off 1/29874000182363927256481238dkwudsjk02387377y29dfjer7uj77829th of all the massive debt we've racked up in the last 3 months? Hey - you know what? My cash flow is pretty bad right now (in fact, - seriously folks - I need a job post-haste), I think I'm gonna take a page from our government's playbook and just start crippling myself with massive credit card debt and loans from shady guys in bad suits down at the docks. Eventually my debt will be so large that I'll have no choice but to indefinitely keep pouring more of my income into paying off that debt (rather than keeping my hard-earned future income and spending it as I see fit -- but what do I know, it's probably better if I just let someone else decide these matters for me. Maybe someone at a central planning office can tell me what to do with my money...and maybe make my healthcare decisions for me...and tell me what to wear and what to say and what to think...life would be so much better that way...we could all get along and be happy and all the mean people in the world would start being nice....). Yep. No better way to jump-start one's financial situation than to burden oneself with massive, crippling, worry-about-it-next-year debt.
Oh, I mentioned healthcare....here's a tip: if things keep going the way they're about to be going -- buy some medical textbooks and as many medical supplies as you can get your hands on and practice on your friends and relatives. Because soon you'll be treating yourself. Or just hope you don't get sick. OR....be like the Buddhists and the Jedi and learn to "let go" of all that you fear to lose - including your health and/or life. Wouldn't that be awesome? To just live without being so afraid of death... To calmly accept that at any given time you might be leaving this life... And to not be upset in the least...
Yes, nature is an insidious and devious entity - a tormentor and a charmer - a lover and a fighter. One day she's making you shake your fists in frustration as winds blow 40 degree rain into your face and your tax returns across a flooded parking lot. The next she sparkles you with one of those life-affirming spring evenings when the sky is majestic and the trees are proud and green and deer look up from their secret distillery in the woods as you walk by, oblivious with your smiling face lost in the grandeur of one of life's rare, but sweet moments.
What really matters in life? Spending 8-14 hours a day at a job? Or being at home and around the ones you love, doing the things that interest you, appreciating the little things in this world - like the way skunks pay very little attention to humans when they're rooting around in the grass for whatever it is that skunks eat? Ah geez...here I go again...I'm about to segue into my rant about the insanity of the modern working world (or as the guys at school know this rant as: "Mindless, hopeless, soulless, life-sucking.....") with all it's obsessing over image and protocols and procedures and policies and regulations and formatting and gladhanding and preening and talking in circles and talking and saying nothing at all (like politicians, the poor soulless wretches). But I should stop myself here because all of you either a) don't care, b) don't get what I'm saying and just think I'm raving about something silly and that I'm thus wrong for raving about it, c) have been so succumbed by society that you are unable to see my point, or d) don't get that while I'm trying to make a point and express my strange view of the world, I'm also trying to amuse and entertain in some fashion.
And yet there's something about my delivery that differs from others who make similar comments/observations. Something that makes people laugh hysterically at others and just shake their heads at and dismiss me. And that makes me angry. Angry and petulant. Love that word. Petulant. It just leaps off the lips.
You know what's fun? Being an English major in engineering school and throwing your massive verbal intellect around with all the guys who love calculus and see the world in x-y graphs. A bird flies by -- I see a bird and think of ways to describe it, wonder where it's heading, give it a personality, name it Phil.... They see points on an x-y plane with a curve depicting the flight-path of the "object" as it moves in the x-direction. And throw in some sine and cosine mumbo-jumbo and some coulombs and derivatives and exponential letter "e's" and hyperbolic functions and partial derivatives and other made up crap for good measure. It's a BIRD!!!!!
We're all running out of time. Our bodies are oxidizing every day that we live, asteroids are conspiring to wipe us out, terrorists (oh wait....we don't call them that anymore - I FORGOT - how insensitive of me!) are eager to cause their "man-made disasters," (idiocy...just idiocy) influenza mutates and contorts itself into new and improved versions each year, the world's climate is warming...no wait, now it's cooling....no, it's warming...no, cooling...now it's just "chill-axing," artificial sweeteners, swimming in the ocean, breathing air, red meat, being married, being alone, tacos, long walks in the park, semicolons, and Jack Black movies all cause cancer and will kill you; Yellowstone Park is actually a giant underground volcano and will explode and wipe us all off of our couches and back to Fred Flintstone's happy stone-age family; earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, the Cloverfield monster, mass hysteria and hero-worship; and let's not forget nuclear armed countries that could very well fall under the rule of radical muslim extremist terrorists (what was the PC term that the government insists on using now? I forgot...) literally any day now. Basically there are - always have been - and always will be things that are either killing us or are actively trying to kill us (especially those dastardly asteroids....out there in space, plotting...scheming). We're always running out of time to live...to make the most of what we're given. So - RUN! Run outside and frolic with your loved ones and your pets and your car and your favorite plant! Do the things that mattter! Don't save it up for the day that comes conveniently AFTER the asteroids hit and the term-the-government-no-longer-uses-to-describe-terrorists 's attack and the socialized health care physician tells you you have 5 different types of cancer - after you wait in line for 49 business days and bribe the right folks at central planning. Get out there and spend your life wisely. Don't be like Donovan at the end of The Last Crusade and choose "poorly." Because then your body will instantaneously (and horrifically - especially if you're 9 years old and watching it happen to someone else) rot and turn to dust as your lovely (albeit traitorous) Austrian cohort shrieks in terror.
It just occured to me that this blog is almost coming across like it's the last one I'll ever write. What with the urging people to live life thing. Hopefully by pointing this out I will reverse whatever trick fate had up its sleeve.
So, let's just call it a night then. I'm sure there's a House or Family Guy on somewhere I should be watching.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
One person's rant is another's "freedom fighter"
I've been noticing a lot of military vehicles flying over the house lately. More than usual. Am I being monitored already? (Edit: No seriously. We normally see Apaches, Sukorsky's, transport helicopters, and transport planes around here -- but not at this frequency flying directly overhead. Plus - the other day it was sunny and the sky was perfectly clear. I was outside and heard the sound of a fighter jet approaching swiftly. The sound went directly overhead, but I never saw it. No clouds, no sun in my eyes, just nothing there. Maybe we have a new technology that actually makes the jet invisible. I HOPE so. It would give me at least a little bit of hope for the future of our military and national security.)
So, apparently my health insurance premium is going up another $30 this year! In the past it's gone up around $10 at a time (i don't see why it should be going up this consistently in the first place). In 5 years it has very nearly doubled!!!! This is nuts! How can they justify this? I haven't even been sick in over a year. I'm so annoyed, I'm going to go outside, build a laboratory, and start making my own medicines and vaccines. Heck, maybe I'll start my own medical school...
The other night I saw a little interview with the infamous Billy Mays. The shocking part: He wasn't yelling! In fact, he acknowledged how everyone thinks he's "always yelling," and explained it away as "cutting through the clutter." It actually made sense. We're always being bombarded with noise and ads and stimulation -- if Billy came on the tv and spoke calmly and quietly, no one would listen to him and no one would buy his products. And you know what...during the interview while he was speaking in a normal tone of voice...I actually almost found him likeable.
There's a show on the History Channel called UFO Hunters. Mostly it's a tiresome charade as this group of professed UFO experts visit the sites of encounters and try to investigate whether or not something actually happened. Just like most series nowadays (like the one with the guy who goes looking for monsters/legends), they find some circumstantial and often conspicuous evidence, they hear questionable stories from pseudo-reliable witnesses, and in the end they come up with nothing more than they started with. But the other night they actually managed to hold my attention. They were investigating the stories of secret Nazi projects involving UFOs. Apparently a former Nazi scientist claimed that they had received help from aliens and were trying to make their own flying saucers (and other secret weapons). The Nazis had a vast number of secret projects going on throughout the war and were also considered to be well ahead of the rest of the world in areas of rocketry and propulsion. In the course of the investigation they even found that one Nazi scientist had been conducting human experiments on how the body would be affected by space travel. The most interesting part of the show came when they visited a former secret Nazi bunker in Poland. Supposedly the Nazis had been working on their ultimate weapon there, something called a Reeza (sp?) - or "bell." The artistic interpretation showed a bell-like hovering metal object that had to be chained in place. I think it was supposed to be the engine or power-source for a flying saucer. While people could walk around in the bunker, there was a large section of it that had been sealed off long ago. In this sealed area is where the bell was alleged to have been stored. Upon returning to the US, they found that this bell actually had been found by our military after the war (along with a host of other Nazi projects) and was brought back here. I'm sure it's being studied by "top men." What men? Top men.
So, apparently my health insurance premium is going up another $30 this year! In the past it's gone up around $10 at a time (i don't see why it should be going up this consistently in the first place). In 5 years it has very nearly doubled!!!! This is nuts! How can they justify this? I haven't even been sick in over a year. I'm so annoyed, I'm going to go outside, build a laboratory, and start making my own medicines and vaccines. Heck, maybe I'll start my own medical school...
The other night I saw a little interview with the infamous Billy Mays. The shocking part: He wasn't yelling! In fact, he acknowledged how everyone thinks he's "always yelling," and explained it away as "cutting through the clutter." It actually made sense. We're always being bombarded with noise and ads and stimulation -- if Billy came on the tv and spoke calmly and quietly, no one would listen to him and no one would buy his products. And you know what...during the interview while he was speaking in a normal tone of voice...I actually almost found him likeable.
There's a show on the History Channel called UFO Hunters. Mostly it's a tiresome charade as this group of professed UFO experts visit the sites of encounters and try to investigate whether or not something actually happened. Just like most series nowadays (like the one with the guy who goes looking for monsters/legends), they find some circumstantial and often conspicuous evidence, they hear questionable stories from pseudo-reliable witnesses, and in the end they come up with nothing more than they started with. But the other night they actually managed to hold my attention. They were investigating the stories of secret Nazi projects involving UFOs. Apparently a former Nazi scientist claimed that they had received help from aliens and were trying to make their own flying saucers (and other secret weapons). The Nazis had a vast number of secret projects going on throughout the war and were also considered to be well ahead of the rest of the world in areas of rocketry and propulsion. In the course of the investigation they even found that one Nazi scientist had been conducting human experiments on how the body would be affected by space travel. The most interesting part of the show came when they visited a former secret Nazi bunker in Poland. Supposedly the Nazis had been working on their ultimate weapon there, something called a Reeza (sp?) - or "bell." The artistic interpretation showed a bell-like hovering metal object that had to be chained in place. I think it was supposed to be the engine or power-source for a flying saucer. While people could walk around in the bunker, there was a large section of it that had been sealed off long ago. In this sealed area is where the bell was alleged to have been stored. Upon returning to the US, they found that this bell actually had been found by our military after the war (along with a host of other Nazi projects) and was brought back here. I'm sure it's being studied by "top men." What men? Top men.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Fresh Beer and Dismembering Nazis
So Quentin Tarantino's new film, Inglorious Basterds, is coming out in a few months. I caught the trailer online the other day. Basically the movie is about a group of Jewish-American soldiers in World War II who are dropped into Nazi occupied France with the purpose of brutally slaying, mauling, scalping, and otherwise killing Nazi troops. So, uh.....why no outcry that it glorifies brutal torture from a certain segment of society? What if the movie were set during modern times, say a group of Navy SEALs sent out to hunt down and disembowel terrorists, creating fear and terror amongst those who make it their life-mission to bring fear and terror to others? Well, I can imagine it would be publically slammed (by a certain segment of society) as horrible and despicable and would be boycotted -- or at the very least there'd be some nut saying "See! This is what evil America does to people in real life!"
But what is the difference here? Why is it okay for Brad Pitt and his buddies to scalp Nazis, but if Pitt was killing Osama Bin Laden it would be politically incorrect and offensive? Doesn't anyone else see the disconnect here? Some of the same people who freak out over waterboarding at Gitmo and love to brand the US as capable of only actions that are evil or wrong or reprehensible will go and see Inglorious Basterds and laugh and say "man, that was awesome." And they'd probably have no issues (or mere minor grumblings) if the story were true and we actually did send troops over to brutalize Nazis and cut swastikas into the foreheads of the survivors. Perhaps that's because Nazis have no political clout today. There's no political power to be gained from defending them. Or from victimizing them. Yes - just imagine that. Nazis being painted as victims. But some people in this world do it all the time with other just-as-evil groups/individuals.
Ah, well...enough of that. The movie looks like it has potential to be good. I can't even recall the last Tarantino movie that I saw...much less one that was decent.
Since Lent is over and I can have beer again, my tastes have been renewed and my enjoyment of beer reinvigorated. Yesterday I stopped in to pick up some new beer (my stocks are virtually depleted) and resisted the temptation (and the risk) of buying imports that could possibly be 9 months past their Best Before date. I was looking at some Tennent's, but could not find a date anywhere on the bottle and so passed it by. Instead I bought more Sam Adams White Ale and decided to give Schlafly's Summer Lager a try. The Schlafly's is excellent. An exceptional summer/spring brew. And for me, what was almost as good as the taste was the writing on the bottom of the lable: "Bottled With Love On: 03/30/09." That means the very beer I was drinking was only a few weeks old. And fresh beer is infinitely better than old skunky beer.
But what is the difference here? Why is it okay for Brad Pitt and his buddies to scalp Nazis, but if Pitt was killing Osama Bin Laden it would be politically incorrect and offensive? Doesn't anyone else see the disconnect here? Some of the same people who freak out over waterboarding at Gitmo and love to brand the US as capable of only actions that are evil or wrong or reprehensible will go and see Inglorious Basterds and laugh and say "man, that was awesome." And they'd probably have no issues (or mere minor grumblings) if the story were true and we actually did send troops over to brutalize Nazis and cut swastikas into the foreheads of the survivors. Perhaps that's because Nazis have no political clout today. There's no political power to be gained from defending them. Or from victimizing them. Yes - just imagine that. Nazis being painted as victims. But some people in this world do it all the time with other just-as-evil groups/individuals.
Ah, well...enough of that. The movie looks like it has potential to be good. I can't even recall the last Tarantino movie that I saw...much less one that was decent.
Since Lent is over and I can have beer again, my tastes have been renewed and my enjoyment of beer reinvigorated. Yesterday I stopped in to pick up some new beer (my stocks are virtually depleted) and resisted the temptation (and the risk) of buying imports that could possibly be 9 months past their Best Before date. I was looking at some Tennent's, but could not find a date anywhere on the bottle and so passed it by. Instead I bought more Sam Adams White Ale and decided to give Schlafly's Summer Lager a try. The Schlafly's is excellent. An exceptional summer/spring brew. And for me, what was almost as good as the taste was the writing on the bottom of the lable: "Bottled With Love On: 03/30/09." That means the very beer I was drinking was only a few weeks old. And fresh beer is infinitely better than old skunky beer.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Accumulated Thoughts
The following are random bits that amassed themselves here during the week:
In regards to Deanna's comment about the Itunes last-played time-stamp feature: I listen to music on Itunes WAY more than on my Ipod, but I'm pretty sure it records the times a song is played on the Ipod, too.
Apparently the Department of Homeland Security is now more concerned with "right-wing extremists" than Islamic Fundamentalist terrorists. It seems right-wingers who disagree with expansion of the federal government, limiting or taking away gun ownership, the erosion of American sovereignty, and lackluster national defense are now considered radicals and potential threats. Nice to know fascism is alive and well in the 21st century.
Bruises shouldn't take 3 weeks to heal.
It's official -- yellow tail sushi rolls are my favorite type of sushi roll (and typically they're in my price range).
My inner Dr. House flourishes more and more each day. If only I had that vast medical knowledge and superior memory-recall ability to vanquish all who stand in my way.
April is slipping away.....soon it will be May and then December and then 2035 and we'll all be old and wondering "where did the years go? we can't possibly be this old already?" No...actually, that'll just be me. The rest of you will all feel like you've lived long, fruitful, full lives and won't have that I-just-arrived-at-the-party-and-you're-telling-me-it's-over feeling like I will. And oh, the panic that will ensue as I wrestle with the fact that there are only a few years left. How can this be?! It's not possible! I was just born, I still feel so young! There's nothing filling the years in my memories! This is madness! MADNESS!!!!
Ah.....I feel better now...don't you?
I'm watching the House episode where House and Cuddy are on the flight over the arctic and they think there's a meningitis outbreak. What would happen if there really were an outbreak like that - or of a new even more deadly disease - on a long-distance flight with no airports to land at during an emergency? Well...obviously bad things would happen. Can you imagine if every single person died and the plane just came barreling in for a crash landing? Geez....that's....that's kinda dark and disturbing....
I'm still bitter about the Zywiec beer I bought last weekend being 8 months past it's best before date.
Okay, these random thoughts have lingered here too much. Time to set them free - to release them out into the world, to fly like little baby eaglets, with their soon to be massive talons and beaks.
In regards to Deanna's comment about the Itunes last-played time-stamp feature: I listen to music on Itunes WAY more than on my Ipod, but I'm pretty sure it records the times a song is played on the Ipod, too.
Apparently the Department of Homeland Security is now more concerned with "right-wing extremists" than Islamic Fundamentalist terrorists. It seems right-wingers who disagree with expansion of the federal government, limiting or taking away gun ownership, the erosion of American sovereignty, and lackluster national defense are now considered radicals and potential threats. Nice to know fascism is alive and well in the 21st century.
Bruises shouldn't take 3 weeks to heal.
It's official -- yellow tail sushi rolls are my favorite type of sushi roll (and typically they're in my price range).
My inner Dr. House flourishes more and more each day. If only I had that vast medical knowledge and superior memory-recall ability to vanquish all who stand in my way.
April is slipping away.....soon it will be May and then December and then 2035 and we'll all be old and wondering "where did the years go? we can't possibly be this old already?" No...actually, that'll just be me. The rest of you will all feel like you've lived long, fruitful, full lives and won't have that I-just-arrived-at-the-party-and-you're-telling-me-it's-over feeling like I will. And oh, the panic that will ensue as I wrestle with the fact that there are only a few years left. How can this be?! It's not possible! I was just born, I still feel so young! There's nothing filling the years in my memories! This is madness! MADNESS!!!!
Ah.....I feel better now...don't you?
I'm watching the House episode where House and Cuddy are on the flight over the arctic and they think there's a meningitis outbreak. What would happen if there really were an outbreak like that - or of a new even more deadly disease - on a long-distance flight with no airports to land at during an emergency? Well...obviously bad things would happen. Can you imagine if every single person died and the plane just came barreling in for a crash landing? Geez....that's....that's kinda dark and disturbing....
I'm still bitter about the Zywiec beer I bought last weekend being 8 months past it's best before date.
Okay, these random thoughts have lingered here too much. Time to set them free - to release them out into the world, to fly like little baby eaglets, with their soon to be massive talons and beaks.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Drunken Easter Blog
2:00 PM
No, I'm not drunk. Sure, it would make for wonderful literary entertainment for me to document a day of beer - but I have school work to stress over, family to visit with, and a job search to conduct. Luckily for you, dear readers, my mood is already growing cloudy due to 2 of the 3 previously mentioned items and I'm nearing the point where I toss my books and computer aside in aggravation and march to the refrigerator where the beer resides. So, those of you campaigning for the Drunken Easter blog just might get your wish. Calculus exams, projects, and resumes and cover letters be damned!
(to clarify, I gave up beer for Lent and as it is now Easter I can enjoy beer once again)
So, if you're sitting at home or are sitting bored on a relative's couch with your Iphone or Blackberry today - perhaps you should check in here every once in a while to see what madness ensues....
3:30
There's nothing quite like the head-shaking disappointment of purchasing one of your favorite beers - like the outstanding Polish brew Zywiec - then coming home and discovering that the Best Before date was 9 months ago. So your first beer in almost 2 months, a beer that is one of your favorites, tastes just like any other old skunky beer. I REALLY hate that!
4:10
You know a beer is skunky and old when you go from a top-shelf Polish brew to Amber-Bock and think the Amber-Bock tastes like heaven.
The beer drinking has been interrupted by a leak in the basement of unknown origin. Then Killian got up into the drop-ceiling again and that problem had to be resolved.
The family is in the living room watching the Master's while Callie and Cole play guitars and I waste time writing to you people.
4:55
Callie and I are reduced to working a puzzle while I swill skunky beer. Every beer in the wet-bar-fridge is skunky and old! I guess that's why they're in there for public consumption and not in someone's personal stash. It makes it hard to drink beer for the sake of amusing friends via my blog when all the beer is rather unpleasant to the pallet. Nevertheless, my grammar is slowly eroding. I've gone from skunky Zywiec to skunky Amber Bock to less skunky Sam Adams Winter Lager.
And no one has commented on this. I hope at the very least you all enjoy this tomorrow. While I enjoy a day of studying and job apps and post-teenage angst and coffee. Back to the puzzle, I guess...i really thought there would be more hilarity today...so far I'm disappointed. And you, dear readers, have a right to be disappointed too.
6:45
How in the heck did it get to be almost 7Pm already? One minute I'm making a puzzle and the next it's raining and the Master's is over and all the guys that everyone was rooting for choked and lost.
Did anyone actually see the movie Dumbo Drop? cause I sure didn't. I don't know why I'm thinking about that. Probably someone said something that sounded like Dumbo....
Cole is moping because he hates everything on the menu. The ham is going into the oven and I hear commotion in the kitchen. The puzzle is almost finshed.
What are you looking at? Yeah? well, Happy Easter to you too! You wanna fight about it? I'm Irish so it's a protected part of my cultural heritage that I can get drunk and fight about pointless things and not get in trouble.
Hey -- hey....maybe right now is a good time for me to fill out some job applications...that would be fun...ahhahahaha.....
8:00
The Drunken Easter blog has come to a sputtering end. After gorging myself on ham, green beans, bread, and asparagus I harassed Callie by poking fun of the way college girls always describe everything as "amazing." Then everyone took turns teasing each other and now we're waiting on dessert. The beer has been diluted by all the good food and I'm sobering up to the nightmare that is the coming week.
On behalf of the Evil Grin staff, I apologize for the potential lameness of this blog. But it was a good idea and perhaps with a few tweaks it could be a success some other time.
No, I'm not drunk. Sure, it would make for wonderful literary entertainment for me to document a day of beer - but I have school work to stress over, family to visit with, and a job search to conduct. Luckily for you, dear readers, my mood is already growing cloudy due to 2 of the 3 previously mentioned items and I'm nearing the point where I toss my books and computer aside in aggravation and march to the refrigerator where the beer resides. So, those of you campaigning for the Drunken Easter blog just might get your wish. Calculus exams, projects, and resumes and cover letters be damned!
(to clarify, I gave up beer for Lent and as it is now Easter I can enjoy beer once again)
So, if you're sitting at home or are sitting bored on a relative's couch with your Iphone or Blackberry today - perhaps you should check in here every once in a while to see what madness ensues....
3:30
There's nothing quite like the head-shaking disappointment of purchasing one of your favorite beers - like the outstanding Polish brew Zywiec - then coming home and discovering that the Best Before date was 9 months ago. So your first beer in almost 2 months, a beer that is one of your favorites, tastes just like any other old skunky beer. I REALLY hate that!
4:10
You know a beer is skunky and old when you go from a top-shelf Polish brew to Amber-Bock and think the Amber-Bock tastes like heaven.
The beer drinking has been interrupted by a leak in the basement of unknown origin. Then Killian got up into the drop-ceiling again and that problem had to be resolved.
The family is in the living room watching the Master's while Callie and Cole play guitars and I waste time writing to you people.
4:55
Callie and I are reduced to working a puzzle while I swill skunky beer. Every beer in the wet-bar-fridge is skunky and old! I guess that's why they're in there for public consumption and not in someone's personal stash. It makes it hard to drink beer for the sake of amusing friends via my blog when all the beer is rather unpleasant to the pallet. Nevertheless, my grammar is slowly eroding. I've gone from skunky Zywiec to skunky Amber Bock to less skunky Sam Adams Winter Lager.
And no one has commented on this. I hope at the very least you all enjoy this tomorrow. While I enjoy a day of studying and job apps and post-teenage angst and coffee. Back to the puzzle, I guess...i really thought there would be more hilarity today...so far I'm disappointed. And you, dear readers, have a right to be disappointed too.
6:45
How in the heck did it get to be almost 7Pm already? One minute I'm making a puzzle and the next it's raining and the Master's is over and all the guys that everyone was rooting for choked and lost.
Did anyone actually see the movie Dumbo Drop? cause I sure didn't. I don't know why I'm thinking about that. Probably someone said something that sounded like Dumbo....
Cole is moping because he hates everything on the menu. The ham is going into the oven and I hear commotion in the kitchen. The puzzle is almost finshed.
What are you looking at? Yeah? well, Happy Easter to you too! You wanna fight about it? I'm Irish so it's a protected part of my cultural heritage that I can get drunk and fight about pointless things and not get in trouble.
Hey -- hey....maybe right now is a good time for me to fill out some job applications...that would be fun...ahhahahaha.....
8:00
The Drunken Easter blog has come to a sputtering end. After gorging myself on ham, green beans, bread, and asparagus I harassed Callie by poking fun of the way college girls always describe everything as "amazing." Then everyone took turns teasing each other and now we're waiting on dessert. The beer has been diluted by all the good food and I'm sobering up to the nightmare that is the coming week.
On behalf of the Evil Grin staff, I apologize for the potential lameness of this blog. But it was a good idea and perhaps with a few tweaks it could be a success some other time.
Friday, April 10, 2009
A Dose of Sanity, Please
Last night I had one of those dreams that single people (and those who may not be entirely satisfied in their current relationships) often have. The one where you meet someone and fall in love -- you know, that initial unstoppable excitement and euphoria that envelopes you during those first few days/weeks/(months?). It could be someone from real life, or just a made up lovely figment of your imagination, or some random person you passed in a hallway. But then you awake and reality is standing over the bed, laughing and dripping scalding hot coffee on your head.
Has anyone else noticed those ADS alarm system commercials where guys dressed in black kick down the front door while someone is home only to be "scared off" by the sound of the alarm? My problem with these ads is the false sense of logic they propose. For example, in one there is an attractive young woman walking on her treadmill while listening to her Ipod. The treadmill is set up in a well lit room in front of a bank of windows - which conveniently have a row of thick rose bushes on the outside. Next the camera reveals two sinister-looking fellows lurking in the bushes and gazing menacingly at the woman. They skulk their way through the landscaping and proceed to kick the front door down. Now I would think that if two guys who took the time to buy matching black outfits and toboggans knew that the house they were about to break into was not empty, then they must be a) highly motivated to break in, b) have alterior motives, c) are professional mob hitmen, or d) are on drugs or otherwise lacking in rational coherent thought. As such, in real life these men would likely not be scared off by a mere alarm. They would know that a certain response time exists before any help could possibly arrive. Neigbors or the potential presence of other people in the home is also of apparently no consequence. I'm sorry. But in reality, something bad is going to happen to this poor woman regardless of whether the alarm goes off or Scott from ADS is "there to help" on the other end of the line. If this woman really wants to be safe and protect herself while at home walking on her treadmill in skimpy outfits in front of huge bay windows, well then she should buy and learn how to properly use a firearm. Or adopt a couple of dogs and have them professionally trained to defend her and her home from invaders. Or marry a Navy SEAL.
Speaking of Navy SEALs and dogs......the other day I was listening to Glen Beck and he told the emotional story of former US Navy SEAL, Marcus Latrell (sp?). Marcus is a Medal of Honor recipient and has experienced things most of us could not survive physically, mentally, or emotionally. From what I could gather, he's a man in constant conflict and turmoil, struggling to find peace in his life. While recovering from wounds during a now-famous battle against the Taliban he was given a dog to help him through the process. As Beck described it, the dog has been more than a pet or friend to Marcus, the dog has been a lifeline and they have both taken care of each other. Then recently Marcus awoke one night to gunshots in his front yard. Outside he found a group of local thugs who had just shot his dog - for fun. Apparently these walking human cancers had been killing dogs in that county for months. Marcus somehow restrained himself and did not shoot them right there. They fled but he chased them down in his truck and held them at gunpoint until the authorities arrived. Still these soulless scumbags taunted Marcus and threatened his life. This story about sums up the world. These thugs will now be processed by an inept justice system - perhaps get off completely or maybe only do a few years and then be back out in the world actively serving as agents of evil, eating away at what good exists. In a rational world, individuals who serve no good - who only detract from the lives of others, would not be allowed to continue existing. You don't make a person healthy by leaving a cancer in their body. You cut it out. If you cannot see that some people in this world are soulless cancers then you are either blind, in denial, or asleep. WAKE UP!
Sigh....
Oh. How about this pirate business. Enough already! Send in a SEAL team and wipe them out! Apparently this morning the (American) captain had to resort to trying to escape by jumping overboard - only to be recaptured by the pirates. This is insane! America is not supposed to negotiate with terrorists (not much different from a pirate) or be overly concerned with making sure no harm comes to those who threaten our people. (I heard a report yesterday that our administration warned the American crew not to harm the pirates or they would be held accountable. If true - it's really mind-blowing. Just insane.) We have the technology, we have the skill, quit worry about policy and politics and the ways other countries might paint us as bad guys and do the right thing! Save the captain and then go find the pirate mothership and SINK it. Then send a squadron of F-18s to strafe their bases on land. This is why we get hung up in wars that take years to finish and crippling political debate --- we get wrapped up in worrying about politics instead of fighting bad guys.
Well, I've got a lot of work to do today, so I can't sit here pointing out the world's insanities any longer. I wish I could do something to help, but I'm no messiah.
Has anyone else noticed those ADS alarm system commercials where guys dressed in black kick down the front door while someone is home only to be "scared off" by the sound of the alarm? My problem with these ads is the false sense of logic they propose. For example, in one there is an attractive young woman walking on her treadmill while listening to her Ipod. The treadmill is set up in a well lit room in front of a bank of windows - which conveniently have a row of thick rose bushes on the outside. Next the camera reveals two sinister-looking fellows lurking in the bushes and gazing menacingly at the woman. They skulk their way through the landscaping and proceed to kick the front door down. Now I would think that if two guys who took the time to buy matching black outfits and toboggans knew that the house they were about to break into was not empty, then they must be a) highly motivated to break in, b) have alterior motives, c) are professional mob hitmen, or d) are on drugs or otherwise lacking in rational coherent thought. As such, in real life these men would likely not be scared off by a mere alarm. They would know that a certain response time exists before any help could possibly arrive. Neigbors or the potential presence of other people in the home is also of apparently no consequence. I'm sorry. But in reality, something bad is going to happen to this poor woman regardless of whether the alarm goes off or Scott from ADS is "there to help" on the other end of the line. If this woman really wants to be safe and protect herself while at home walking on her treadmill in skimpy outfits in front of huge bay windows, well then she should buy and learn how to properly use a firearm. Or adopt a couple of dogs and have them professionally trained to defend her and her home from invaders. Or marry a Navy SEAL.
Speaking of Navy SEALs and dogs......the other day I was listening to Glen Beck and he told the emotional story of former US Navy SEAL, Marcus Latrell (sp?). Marcus is a Medal of Honor recipient and has experienced things most of us could not survive physically, mentally, or emotionally. From what I could gather, he's a man in constant conflict and turmoil, struggling to find peace in his life. While recovering from wounds during a now-famous battle against the Taliban he was given a dog to help him through the process. As Beck described it, the dog has been more than a pet or friend to Marcus, the dog has been a lifeline and they have both taken care of each other. Then recently Marcus awoke one night to gunshots in his front yard. Outside he found a group of local thugs who had just shot his dog - for fun. Apparently these walking human cancers had been killing dogs in that county for months. Marcus somehow restrained himself and did not shoot them right there. They fled but he chased them down in his truck and held them at gunpoint until the authorities arrived. Still these soulless scumbags taunted Marcus and threatened his life. This story about sums up the world. These thugs will now be processed by an inept justice system - perhaps get off completely or maybe only do a few years and then be back out in the world actively serving as agents of evil, eating away at what good exists. In a rational world, individuals who serve no good - who only detract from the lives of others, would not be allowed to continue existing. You don't make a person healthy by leaving a cancer in their body. You cut it out. If you cannot see that some people in this world are soulless cancers then you are either blind, in denial, or asleep. WAKE UP!
Sigh....
Oh. How about this pirate business. Enough already! Send in a SEAL team and wipe them out! Apparently this morning the (American) captain had to resort to trying to escape by jumping overboard - only to be recaptured by the pirates. This is insane! America is not supposed to negotiate with terrorists (not much different from a pirate) or be overly concerned with making sure no harm comes to those who threaten our people. (I heard a report yesterday that our administration warned the American crew not to harm the pirates or they would be held accountable. If true - it's really mind-blowing. Just insane.) We have the technology, we have the skill, quit worry about policy and politics and the ways other countries might paint us as bad guys and do the right thing! Save the captain and then go find the pirate mothership and SINK it. Then send a squadron of F-18s to strafe their bases on land. This is why we get hung up in wars that take years to finish and crippling political debate --- we get wrapped up in worrying about politics instead of fighting bad guys.
Well, I've got a lot of work to do today, so I can't sit here pointing out the world's insanities any longer. I wish I could do something to help, but I'm no messiah.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I can almost see the lights of the Goodyear blimp
"Just wakin' up in the morning, gotta thank God / I don't know but today seems kinda odd" -- Ice Cube
It's funny how some songs stick with you through the years. ITunes has a feature that lists the last date/time that each song was played. Sometimes it's amazing to see that I haven't played a certain song in years. The above-quoted Ice Cube song was last played on June 3, 2004 - but to my mind it seems like I hear it (and every other song on my computer) at least once a month.
Why is it that I buy these flavored CoffeeMate creamers and they taste great the first time I use them, but then after that....I feel like the son in "There Will Be Blood" being forced to drink a tall glass of whiskey and milk?
So who saw House last night? I was NOT expecting a suicide! I figured someone was going to be killed off....but not like that....(I probably shouldn't say anymore in case some of you haven't yet seen it)
No, I did not go to Tater Day yesterday. On Saturday, however, I had a dentist appointment in Benton and had to dodge several dual-Rebel-flag-bearing pick-ups as I made my way through town. You know....as much as some of us roll our eyes at it, I'm sure other communities have similar annual cringe-inducing events. The Polish carpenters told me about this small town in Georgia where every year for Oktoberfest the entire town makes beer and gets hammered. They're even allowed to stumble around drinking in the streets. (No, not New Orleans) They said there's a lot of German immigrants there who brew authentic old-world style beers. (I wonder if that should be "old" with an e on the end?)
Sorry Wenders, time to gripe about something: the seat in my truck. Driving my truck has become physical torture. Normally just driving around in my truck causes my sciatica to flare up (back and hip pain), but after someone else adjusts the seat it becomes even worse. Then the more I mess with it trying to fix things, it only gets worse until I'm literally squirming in my seat and driving faster just so I can get out of the vehicle sooner. Hey - we live in a society where blaming others is the norm - maybe I can sue Ford for my chronic sciatica problems?! What say you, my abnormal amount of lawyer friends?
Yeah...what's up with that? An unusually large number of my friends are either lawyers or hold engineering degrees. I wonder what professions I do NOT have friends in..... I don't know any chiropractors. I don't know any police officers (do I?....). I don't know any Hollywood actors or screenwriters. No plantation owners. No research scientists. No astronauts. No preachers/evangelists. No politicians. No pro or semi-pro athletes. No psychiatrists (but a few psychologists). No mechanics. No librarians. No oil-drillers. But it's possible I do know someone who has force-fed their kid a tall glass of whiskey and milk.
Well, enough rambling. Time to start my day. I hope I don't have to use my AK...
It's funny how some songs stick with you through the years. ITunes has a feature that lists the last date/time that each song was played. Sometimes it's amazing to see that I haven't played a certain song in years. The above-quoted Ice Cube song was last played on June 3, 2004 - but to my mind it seems like I hear it (and every other song on my computer) at least once a month.
Why is it that I buy these flavored CoffeeMate creamers and they taste great the first time I use them, but then after that....I feel like the son in "There Will Be Blood" being forced to drink a tall glass of whiskey and milk?
So who saw House last night? I was NOT expecting a suicide! I figured someone was going to be killed off....but not like that....(I probably shouldn't say anymore in case some of you haven't yet seen it)
No, I did not go to Tater Day yesterday. On Saturday, however, I had a dentist appointment in Benton and had to dodge several dual-Rebel-flag-bearing pick-ups as I made my way through town. You know....as much as some of us roll our eyes at it, I'm sure other communities have similar annual cringe-inducing events. The Polish carpenters told me about this small town in Georgia where every year for Oktoberfest the entire town makes beer and gets hammered. They're even allowed to stumble around drinking in the streets. (No, not New Orleans) They said there's a lot of German immigrants there who brew authentic old-world style beers. (I wonder if that should be "old" with an e on the end?)
Sorry Wenders, time to gripe about something: the seat in my truck. Driving my truck has become physical torture. Normally just driving around in my truck causes my sciatica to flare up (back and hip pain), but after someone else adjusts the seat it becomes even worse. Then the more I mess with it trying to fix things, it only gets worse until I'm literally squirming in my seat and driving faster just so I can get out of the vehicle sooner. Hey - we live in a society where blaming others is the norm - maybe I can sue Ford for my chronic sciatica problems?! What say you, my abnormal amount of lawyer friends?
Yeah...what's up with that? An unusually large number of my friends are either lawyers or hold engineering degrees. I wonder what professions I do NOT have friends in..... I don't know any chiropractors. I don't know any police officers (do I?....). I don't know any Hollywood actors or screenwriters. No plantation owners. No research scientists. No astronauts. No preachers/evangelists. No politicians. No pro or semi-pro athletes. No psychiatrists (but a few psychologists). No mechanics. No librarians. No oil-drillers. But it's possible I do know someone who has force-fed their kid a tall glass of whiskey and milk.
Well, enough rambling. Time to start my day. I hope I don't have to use my AK...
Monday, April 6, 2009
"We Can Work It Out"
"life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend" - The Beatles
So, the F-22 Raptor program was cut today, effectively handing over future air superiority to the Russians and likely China. History has shown that those who win wars, successfully defeat invaders, and remain thriving nation-states are the ones who have the better technology. The cavemen from the river kept the cliff-dwelling cavemen from stealing their food, cave-drawing chalk, and mammoth-hide underwear thanks to their development of the hollowed-out-massive-turtle shield. Oh, but I'm sure it probably wasn't very "fair" of them to have all that food or chalk or underwear while the poor cliff-dwellers went without.
North Korea launched their little ballistic missile the other day. Fun times. Meanwhile, our nation's Missile Defense Shield has been axed. Yeah. We don't need defense from missiles. Especially not when such trustworthy and admirable nations as North Korea have them.
The European Union has mandated that all emails and websites visited on every single computer in its countries must be archived. (apparently they already do this for phone calls) In a bold strike for that classic (and under duress) American ideal of "rugged individualism" the Swedes have decided to completely ignore this edict. At least one European country hasn't totally bought-in to the one world government idea. I find it interesting that the folks who hated the idea of the US tapping phone-lines and internet communications of suspected terrorists a few years ago are typically big fans of the EU (and/or the ethos that Europeans know what's best for all of us) and yet here's the EU being a big, scary, personal-privacy-devouring monster.
Speaking of one world government.....the fire-sale continues on America's sovereignty. For those youthful voters out there, this is the concept that our nation decides its own laws and cannot be controlled, dictated to, or shackled by another nation or group of nations. Yet that appears to be just what we are allowing to happen. Slowly and surely and sickeningly. Now someone other than the US government will be dictating the financial rules our country uses in our banking industry. Agreeing to international legislation that allows an international body to govern all bankings firms - even those in the US - does not sound like protecting American sovereignty to me. Sounds like...gutting it.
Hmm...what other joyful things are happening in the world...
Here's a quality I feel all leaders must have. Whether that leader is the CEO of a corporation, manager of a sports team, a Cub Scout leader, or the head of a nation -- they should always portray their organization in a positive light. As the head of that organization it is their JOB to be the world's biggest supporter, cheerleader, advocate, and defender of that organization! A leader is not going to be successful and is certainly not helping his/her organization by pointing out all the negative aspects of that organization when they are out and about in the public eye. I certainly don't want my Cub Scout leaders or Caveman chiefs going to tribal councils and saying "you know what, we're not very good, you guys are better than us and should tell us what to do."
Oh. I suppose the term caveman is offensive. The PC police will be out to get me.
If humanity survives long enough into the coming centuries (and is not too hindered by global war and tyranny) I foresee an eventual migration of Pilgrim-like "rugged" individuals to Mars. A group of oppressed people united by their desire for freedom and equality and seeking to escape tyrannical and/or fascist rule. People seeking religious freedom, the right to keep the fruits of their labor, and holding to the idea that there ARE such things as right and wrong - not moral relativism and justification for any and all misdeeds. Colonies will be established and eventually break away from their distant and totalitarian would-be masters. A New World will rise and become the beacon of liberty and opportunity, like America long before. And other nations will be jealous and spiteful and envious of the great things that the Martian nation embodies. But after a time, history will repeat itself again, and the people of Mars will grow apathetic and disconnected. Minds who thirst for power and control will find a way to sow their seeds, translating their message into whatever disguise is required to bring the pendulum back in their direction. The Martians will give away their freedom, just as the generations before them through all time have done. And thunderous applause and greedy smiles will snuff out the beacon of lady liberty. But though the pendulum may linger a bit longer on one side for a time, it will always find a way back.
So, the F-22 Raptor program was cut today, effectively handing over future air superiority to the Russians and likely China. History has shown that those who win wars, successfully defeat invaders, and remain thriving nation-states are the ones who have the better technology. The cavemen from the river kept the cliff-dwelling cavemen from stealing their food, cave-drawing chalk, and mammoth-hide underwear thanks to their development of the hollowed-out-massive-turtle shield. Oh, but I'm sure it probably wasn't very "fair" of them to have all that food or chalk or underwear while the poor cliff-dwellers went without.
North Korea launched their little ballistic missile the other day. Fun times. Meanwhile, our nation's Missile Defense Shield has been axed. Yeah. We don't need defense from missiles. Especially not when such trustworthy and admirable nations as North Korea have them.
The European Union has mandated that all emails and websites visited on every single computer in its countries must be archived. (apparently they already do this for phone calls) In a bold strike for that classic (and under duress) American ideal of "rugged individualism" the Swedes have decided to completely ignore this edict. At least one European country hasn't totally bought-in to the one world government idea. I find it interesting that the folks who hated the idea of the US tapping phone-lines and internet communications of suspected terrorists a few years ago are typically big fans of the EU (and/or the ethos that Europeans know what's best for all of us) and yet here's the EU being a big, scary, personal-privacy-devouring monster.
Speaking of one world government.....the fire-sale continues on America's sovereignty. For those youthful voters out there, this is the concept that our nation decides its own laws and cannot be controlled, dictated to, or shackled by another nation or group of nations. Yet that appears to be just what we are allowing to happen. Slowly and surely and sickeningly. Now someone other than the US government will be dictating the financial rules our country uses in our banking industry. Agreeing to international legislation that allows an international body to govern all bankings firms - even those in the US - does not sound like protecting American sovereignty to me. Sounds like...gutting it.
Hmm...what other joyful things are happening in the world...
Here's a quality I feel all leaders must have. Whether that leader is the CEO of a corporation, manager of a sports team, a Cub Scout leader, or the head of a nation -- they should always portray their organization in a positive light. As the head of that organization it is their JOB to be the world's biggest supporter, cheerleader, advocate, and defender of that organization! A leader is not going to be successful and is certainly not helping his/her organization by pointing out all the negative aspects of that organization when they are out and about in the public eye. I certainly don't want my Cub Scout leaders or Caveman chiefs going to tribal councils and saying "you know what, we're not very good, you guys are better than us and should tell us what to do."
Oh. I suppose the term caveman is offensive. The PC police will be out to get me.
If humanity survives long enough into the coming centuries (and is not too hindered by global war and tyranny) I foresee an eventual migration of Pilgrim-like "rugged" individuals to Mars. A group of oppressed people united by their desire for freedom and equality and seeking to escape tyrannical and/or fascist rule. People seeking religious freedom, the right to keep the fruits of their labor, and holding to the idea that there ARE such things as right and wrong - not moral relativism and justification for any and all misdeeds. Colonies will be established and eventually break away from their distant and totalitarian would-be masters. A New World will rise and become the beacon of liberty and opportunity, like America long before. And other nations will be jealous and spiteful and envious of the great things that the Martian nation embodies. But after a time, history will repeat itself again, and the people of Mars will grow apathetic and disconnected. Minds who thirst for power and control will find a way to sow their seeds, translating their message into whatever disguise is required to bring the pendulum back in their direction. The Martians will give away their freedom, just as the generations before them through all time have done. And thunderous applause and greedy smiles will snuff out the beacon of lady liberty. But though the pendulum may linger a bit longer on one side for a time, it will always find a way back.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Da Bears Have a Quarterback!
Happy Friday to all. We begin today's blog with more glowing blather about the Toyota Tundra: yesterday I drove home through a severe thunderstorm complete with a tornado warning, hail, and roads awash with the sudden torrential downpour. And the Tundra handled it all like a champ. I felt invincible, like a Spartan warrior in a hippy colony.
I also noticed that since I've been driving the Tundra, my sciatica problems have been quite a bit better than normal. I think it has to do with the differing comfort levels of sitting in my truck versus sitting in the Tundra.
Yesterday my Chicago Bears pulled off a dazzling trade for Pro Bowl QB Jay Cutler. I've been going back and forth all night over whether they gave up too much for him. They sent Kyle Orton and both this year's 1st round pick and next year's 1st rounder in the exchange. That does sound like a hefty price. However, let's think back on how well the Bears typically draft in the 1st round: such stunning selections as Rex Grossman, Cade McNown, David Terrell, Cedric Benson, etc. More often than not the Bears' 1st rounders wind up as busts. So, in effect, they likely traded a pair of future busts to Denver for a proven, young QB whose presence alone is something they haven't had in a very very very long time. I'm excited. Now let's just shore up that defense and find another wide receiver. And bring back Ditka.
(I've had an idea brewing lately to do an NFL draft blog. Even fewer than normal of you would probably find that interesting. But it could be fun. We'll see if I actually can keep that idea wrangled long enough to do it. And before the actual draft happens at the end of the month.)
Last night Wenders demanded that I come up with blogs that are funnier and feature less complaining. (not sure where I complained during the retelling-of-lunch blog or the Tundra-is-awesome blog, but whatever, Wenders) But - as expected - here I am now unable to write anything remotely funny. Thanks, Wenders. I'm now completely paralyzed (creatively speaking).
Yesterday I randomly began my day with a Doc Holliday quote from Tombstone as my status. This spontaneously led to others posting further Doc quotes throughout the day. What a great movie. It never gets old. It's like Top Gun with its high level of re-watchability and plethora of quotable quotes, but with more credibility as a piece of art. And no Tom Cruise.
Dang. Still paralyzed. I'll get you for this, Wenders!
I've found over the years that I can excel at things when I am NOT supposed to be doing them. For instance, if two of us are working on different projects - I might be dead in the water with mine, but I can look over at what you're doing and assist you with ease. Because I'm not TRYING to do it. The mind clears, the walls cease to exist, calmness floods all the residents of my mind.
Only a little more than a week to go and I can have beer again!
Okay, I'm completely snakebitten now. Time to just wrap this up for the day. Remember, this blog is all Wenders' fault.
I also noticed that since I've been driving the Tundra, my sciatica problems have been quite a bit better than normal. I think it has to do with the differing comfort levels of sitting in my truck versus sitting in the Tundra.
Yesterday my Chicago Bears pulled off a dazzling trade for Pro Bowl QB Jay Cutler. I've been going back and forth all night over whether they gave up too much for him. They sent Kyle Orton and both this year's 1st round pick and next year's 1st rounder in the exchange. That does sound like a hefty price. However, let's think back on how well the Bears typically draft in the 1st round: such stunning selections as Rex Grossman, Cade McNown, David Terrell, Cedric Benson, etc. More often than not the Bears' 1st rounders wind up as busts. So, in effect, they likely traded a pair of future busts to Denver for a proven, young QB whose presence alone is something they haven't had in a very very very long time. I'm excited. Now let's just shore up that defense and find another wide receiver. And bring back Ditka.
(I've had an idea brewing lately to do an NFL draft blog. Even fewer than normal of you would probably find that interesting. But it could be fun. We'll see if I actually can keep that idea wrangled long enough to do it. And before the actual draft happens at the end of the month.)
Last night Wenders demanded that I come up with blogs that are funnier and feature less complaining. (not sure where I complained during the retelling-of-lunch blog or the Tundra-is-awesome blog, but whatever, Wenders) But - as expected - here I am now unable to write anything remotely funny. Thanks, Wenders. I'm now completely paralyzed (creatively speaking).
Yesterday I randomly began my day with a Doc Holliday quote from Tombstone as my status. This spontaneously led to others posting further Doc quotes throughout the day. What a great movie. It never gets old. It's like Top Gun with its high level of re-watchability and plethora of quotable quotes, but with more credibility as a piece of art. And no Tom Cruise.
Dang. Still paralyzed. I'll get you for this, Wenders!
I've found over the years that I can excel at things when I am NOT supposed to be doing them. For instance, if two of us are working on different projects - I might be dead in the water with mine, but I can look over at what you're doing and assist you with ease. Because I'm not TRYING to do it. The mind clears, the walls cease to exist, calmness floods all the residents of my mind.
Only a little more than a week to go and I can have beer again!
Okay, I'm completely snakebitten now. Time to just wrap this up for the day. Remember, this blog is all Wenders' fault.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Lunch With the Chem E's
April is going to be a big month. By the end, my life could be heading in a very different direction. And if a month from now certain issues have not been resolved...well...then that would not be good.
On a lighter note, yesterday at lunch I was trying to explain a scene from Monty Python's Meaning of Life to my friends Ryan and Jacob (who don't read this blog and who have never seen Monty Python). It went something like this:
Me: ...how did that song go? 'Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at 10 million miles a day'
Ryan: (to Jacob) I wonder what that is in revolutions per minute?
Me: Oh - no - it actually started when the two guys showed up at the door and asked for another guy's liver.
Ryan: (laughs and shares brief glance with Jacob)
Me: They're like (adopts British Monty Python accent) 'Hello, can we have your liver?' And the guy is all 'No, you can't have my liver!' 'Why not?' 'Because I'm using it!' And then they point out that he's signed an organ donor card and that they need his liver so he has no choice but to give it to them. So, they take him into the next room and start hacking out his liver while he's screaming and blood is flying everywhere. Then his wife comes in and (in female Monty Python voice) asks 'Can I get you boys any tea?'
Ryan and Jacob: (laughter and shaking of heads)
Me: So while one of the guys is still ruthlessly hacking out the liver while the poor guy screams and carries on, the other takes the wife into the kitchen and starts hitting on her.
Ryan: (rolls his eyes a little, mocking Rick's long-winded story-telling)
Me: Hey! Don't give me that look - I'll cut your face!
Ryan: I love it when you tell me you're gonna cut my face. There's just something about your tone when you say it.
Me: Yeah, well every day in Physics you randomly look over at me and tell me you're going to kill me. At least all I'm doing is cutting your face.
Ryan: (laughs)
Jacob: And I'm just going to murder both of you when you least expect it.
Ryan: This is true.
Me: ANYWAY! The one guy has the wife in the kitchen and is hitting on her. He keeps trying to convince her to go out with him and she's non-committal, so he then asks 'well...can we have your liver?' She's unsure so he says 'well, maybe this will convince you,' and the refrigerator door opens up and a guy steps out and sings a song -- the one about the planet that's evolving and revolving at 10 million miles a day. After the song she's convinced and says they can have her liver.
Ryan: So what was the meaning of life? Wasn't it 42?
Me: No that was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. At the end of the the movie (Meaning of Life) there's a guy sitting there who says 'Oh, I suppose you want to know the meaning of life,' and he rattles off a short spiel about being nice to children, not eating too much fat, try to have fun, etc, etc.
Ryan: I need more breadsticks.
Ah...those are the moments that make engineering school (almost) bearable.
On a lighter note, yesterday at lunch I was trying to explain a scene from Monty Python's Meaning of Life to my friends Ryan and Jacob (who don't read this blog and who have never seen Monty Python). It went something like this:
Me: ...how did that song go? 'Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at 10 million miles a day'
Ryan: (to Jacob) I wonder what that is in revolutions per minute?
Me: Oh - no - it actually started when the two guys showed up at the door and asked for another guy's liver.
Ryan: (laughs and shares brief glance with Jacob)
Me: They're like (adopts British Monty Python accent) 'Hello, can we have your liver?' And the guy is all 'No, you can't have my liver!' 'Why not?' 'Because I'm using it!' And then they point out that he's signed an organ donor card and that they need his liver so he has no choice but to give it to them. So, they take him into the next room and start hacking out his liver while he's screaming and blood is flying everywhere. Then his wife comes in and (in female Monty Python voice) asks 'Can I get you boys any tea?'
Ryan and Jacob: (laughter and shaking of heads)
Me: So while one of the guys is still ruthlessly hacking out the liver while the poor guy screams and carries on, the other takes the wife into the kitchen and starts hitting on her.
Ryan: (rolls his eyes a little, mocking Rick's long-winded story-telling)
Me: Hey! Don't give me that look - I'll cut your face!
Ryan: I love it when you tell me you're gonna cut my face. There's just something about your tone when you say it.
Me: Yeah, well every day in Physics you randomly look over at me and tell me you're going to kill me. At least all I'm doing is cutting your face.
Ryan: (laughs)
Jacob: And I'm just going to murder both of you when you least expect it.
Ryan: This is true.
Me: ANYWAY! The one guy has the wife in the kitchen and is hitting on her. He keeps trying to convince her to go out with him and she's non-committal, so he then asks 'well...can we have your liver?' She's unsure so he says 'well, maybe this will convince you,' and the refrigerator door opens up and a guy steps out and sings a song -- the one about the planet that's evolving and revolving at 10 million miles a day. After the song she's convinced and says they can have her liver.
Ryan: So what was the meaning of life? Wasn't it 42?
Me: No that was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. At the end of the the movie (Meaning of Life) there's a guy sitting there who says 'Oh, I suppose you want to know the meaning of life,' and he rattles off a short spiel about being nice to children, not eating too much fat, try to have fun, etc, etc.
Ryan: I need more breadsticks.
Ah...those are the moments that make engineering school (almost) bearable.
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